Random parenting thoughts today

I love it when I read scripture and a short passage or even a word jumps out at me and I have to camp out there awhile. Here's the verse that I read today, and see if you see the same word I did. 

"And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deut. 6:6, 7

DILIGENTLY. I looked it up. Miriam Webster. "characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort, painstaking" And it further said, "You're more likely to be diligent about something if you love doing it... affection can lead to energetic effort... it descends from Latin, 'to value or esteem highly' or 'to love'".

I am closer to the end of parenting than the beginning. Yes, I know I will always be a parent, and my kids will always need me. But the time they are at home is running short. So my immediate feeling when I read that was guilt and regret. Was I diligent in teaching my kids about God and his commands? I am a perfectionist in many ways, so I would say no, I did not do enough. But if you have met my kids, you would say they are great, and they are. And they love Jesus. 

Did I and my husband give steady, earnest and energic effort to teaching our kids God's commands? I suppose if I didn't love my kids as much as I do, then I wouldn't feel that regret. But I can't go back and redo it. I have to trust that the time and energy we put in was enough, and trust that they are in the Savior's hands. He doesn't really NEED me to pour into my kids. Its an honor and privilege to partner with God in that job. And I can pray that what has been poured into them will blossom and grow, and their love of Jesus and his word will grow. 

As my kids move up and out of the house, my job changes. I will still need to be diligent, but it will look different. I need to start rethinking what it will look like. It will change from daily conversations with my kids about God, to daily conversations with God about my kids. Energetic effort. 

May we all let go of the guilt of what we think we didn't do, and move forward with energic effort, steady and diligent love for our kids! 

Following a Cloud!

I love reading the book of Exodus! So many amazing stories of God's power and guidance. I was reading the story of the parting of the Red Sea the other day in chapter 14, a story I have read and heard maybe hundreds of times since I was a child, but this time it seemed so fresh and new to me. Can you really imagine what that looked like, smelled like, felt like? 

It says that God took them a round about way because he knew they would be scared of the enemies in the promised land, and he knew that his people were not ready for that yet. So he put them by the sea and then the enemy comes to them. God knew what He was going to do! He wanted to show them His power. He was already leading them as a cloud by day and fire by night. And he stops and here comes Pharaoh's army. And Moses tells his people "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today... The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." (13, 14)  How often do try to fight my own battles instead of being silent and letting Him do it. It always works out much better that way!

His pillar of cloud moved from in front of them to behind them to hem them in, protect them as he opened up the sea and they walked through. And when they were all through it, he let the water go and not one of Pharaoh's men survived. So thankful for His protection!

God reminded me with the picture of the cloud by day and fire by night, that He doesn't need a break from leading and protecting me. He doesn't sleep or need a "me day". He is always there leading me. "He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. " Psalm 121;3, 4

Moses sings a song in chapter 15, "The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation, this is my God and I will praise him, my father's god and I will exalt him. You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode." (15:2, 13) I am guided by HIS STRENGTH, not my own. 

I pray for God to continue to lead me and my family, to  hem us in with His protection, to remind me to be still and wait for his plan to unfold as He opens up the waters in front of us to lead us to a promised land! Amen!

He Changed My Name

I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 8 years old in church on a Sunday morning. I remember going up during the invitation, and I hadn't asked my parents about it that I can remember. We went back into the choir room with a counselor, and she talked to me about accepting Christ, and I was ready. She prayed a prayer and I repeated her words. I remember weeping, which as an 8 year old I think says something. I knew what I was doing was a big deal. 

I have lived a fairly good, clean life since then. There have been times when I was jealous of people who had a more flashy testimony, God bringing them out of a sinful life and changing their lives in a dramatic way. I have had times when I felt like I needed to do things to prove to God that He made the right decision in saving me. I now know that being saved young was a gift and blessing in that He had a hold of me young and kept me from doing some of those destructive things. I know that I don't have to do anything to prove to him that I'm good enough. He loves me regardless.

I do take for granted though that I am a sinner saved by grace. I don't really feel convicted of my sin often enough. I don't show gratitude enough to God for saving me and what Jesus did on the cross. But there are two songs out right now that when they come on, I get a tear in my eye and praise the Lord for what He has done for me, not just the blessings but for saving me from my sins! I get choked up thinking how I did not deserve what He did for me. We don't deserve Jesus dying on the cross for us. He did it just because He loves us and wanted to be back in communion with us, His creation. So listen to them, and thank Him for dying for us. I have a new name and the enemy can't change it back! I am chosen, loved, and forgiven!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrSh2xtZHdQ  Matthew West "You Changed My Name"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euUYX-jss5Y Mercy Me "Then Christ Came"

Influence

I have started a new Bible reading plan that will take me through the Bible in two years, but it goes back and forth from the Old to the New Testament. I like that because I don't want to ignore one or the other for a year at a time and its a good pace for me so I can take the time to journal, and sometimes blog, on what I am reading.

Today I read John 1, which I just read back in November, and yet I got something new out of it today. Thank you Lord that your word is living and active. In John 1, John the Baptist is basically introducing Jesus to the people around him. He has been prepping them for a long time that Jesus was coming, and now he's here. I can't imagine how excited John was! At one point, he says in front of two of his own disciples "Look, the lamb of God!" and one of his disciples, who turns out to be Andrew, leaves John to follow Jesus. We have to hope that made John really excited and proud, not jealous or sad to see Andrew leave. 

Andrew goes and tells his brother Simon first about meeting Jesus, and brings Simon to Jesus who immediately names him Peter, and we know that Peter ends up being one of the most influential disciples, and is known as the founder of the Church. So John tells Andrew, Andrew tells Peter, and Peter changes the world. John's influence can still be seen in the church today because he introduced people to Jesus, that was his calling.

The next day Jesus finds Philip and asks him to follow him. Philip gets his friend Nathanael and he follows Jesus too. Philip was from the same town as Andrew and Peter. We don't know that they were friends necessarily, but I think we can at least assume they knew of each other. And I was thinking that Philip and Nathanael's opinions of Andrew and Peter had to have had some influence on their decision to follow Jesus as well. If they had not liked them at all, if they had had a crazy reputation in town or had had a history of bad decisions, they might would have had to question whether or not they were going to join them on this adventure with this teacher. And may have had to think about whether or not Jesus was someone worth following if these other two dudes were going to follow him. I can think of a few people that I would not want to join in their adventures because I have seen choices they have made before. 

Its all about influence. . John influenced so many people, including Andrew. Andrew had an influence over Simon Peter. Philip had an influence over Nathanael. Possibly Andrew and Peter had some influence over Philip and Nathanael, even if they didn't know it. 

The term "influencer" is all over the place now on social media. I don't want to be that kind, but what kind of influence do I have over people? Would they trust me if I told them about Jesus that they would believe me because of what they have seen me say and do, the choices I have made? Who is in my circle of influence? Who sees me and hears me and is in relationship with me enough to be willing to follow me as I follow after Christ? And I have to remember that I am probably influencing people that I don't even know about. And remember that my influence may last long after I am gone. 

Who are you influencing? 

Jesus is our Good Shepherd

Its been awhile! I'm not even sure anyone blogs any more. I love writing shorter devotionals on Facebook for different groups, or just my friends. But today's thoughts were longer than I would want to write on a short Facebook post. 

As a separate point before I get to the devotional, over the last year I have been reading a devotional book by Chris Tiegreen, Praying in Faith. I normally don't like devotional books because they can be shallow but his are so good. And it was just what I needed over the last year that has been difficult (that's for another post another day). But I realized recently that as good as it was, I missed being in the Word of God. I would read a verse here and there, but I missed being all in, in a chapter or book. I've read through the Bible with a group of ladies the last few years, and I realized that I missed hearing God's word directly to me. So I jumped back in, and started with the book of John. Now to today's thoughts.

John 10 today, and the first half is Jesus as the Good Shepherd. He was trying to describe himself to these people in terms they would understand (but they still didn't.) He describes how the shepherd leads his sheep and they know his voice, how the shepherd guards the gate and goes ahead of them to lead them. The good shepherd would lay down his life for his sheep, unlike the hired hand who would run away if a wolf came to attack. 

John 10:10 is right in the middle "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I memorized that verse in Seminary for a class, and I've turned to it in hard times. But in my head I envisioned a thief coming into my house or my car. I envisioned the devil following me around and taking my joy, comfort, peace. And all of that is a true picture of what the thief does. BUT...

This verse in context is talking about the shepherd and the sheep! The thief sneaks into the pasture to steal and kill the sheep. The good shepherd guards the pasture from the thief, the wolf. Its a metaphor of SHEEP. And when I started thinking of it that way, all the other verses where God's word talks about sheep starting popping in my head. Matthew 18 says the shepherd would leave the 99 to go after the one dumb sheep who wanders away.  Psalm 23 talks beautifully about the shepherd who leads the sheep to green pastures, quiet waters, down the right paths. He comforts the sheep with his rod and staff. He prepares a table for them in the presence of their enemies. And that is what it means to have a full life. Other versions of John 10:10 say abundant life, fullest measure, a life that is full and good. God's Word Translation says "A thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. But I came so that my sheep will have life and so that they will have everything they need."

Jesus came to give us life! To have green pastures, quiet waters, comfort, rest and life to the fullest! The thief will come after us, life will not always be quiet and calm, but Jesus can bring us peace and rest even in the midst of hard times. And He is our shepherd, guarding us from the thief, leading us away from the dangerous places if we will listen to his voice.

While reading that was encouraging, I got more excited about reading that one verse in context and then thinking how other parts of scripture went with it. God's word is living and active. It all goes together. He repeats himself often because we aren't the sharpest. He wants us to read his love letter to us, listen to his voice and live the abundant life he has for us! 

George, the Pandemic, and Easter

I have 7 plants on my back porch. I have had them all for many years. But don't think I have a green thumb, because I do not for sure. Its a lot of luck. If you really care to read about my past experiences with my plants here are the links to three previous posts about them, so yes, this is my 4th blog post about my plants. Ridiculous.

https://gadman4.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-lack-of-green-thumb.html

https://gadman4.blogspot.com/2012/04/update-on-george-and-friends.html

https://gadman4.blogspot.com/2012/10/update-on-my-babies-my-plant-babies.html

That last post was written in 2012. Almost 8 years later most of those plants are still alive and kicking. But this post is about George... and Easter. If you didn't want to read those posts (and I wouldn't blame you) I'll catch you up. I name my plants. The one I have had the longest is George. George was given to me by my husband on my first birthday after we were married, so I have now had him for 23 years. He has been on his death bed a few times, but always rallied and came back. But I really thought I had lost him this last time.

Basically George was dead a few weeks ago. I think I had left my plants outside when it dropped down below freezing one too many times. Or maybe they got rained on during the monsoon season too much. Or maybe it was the gnat infestation that got him. Or possibly the squirrels that thought my potted plants were a garden to dig in. Either way, George seemed to be a gonner. My kids told me to throw him away and have a funeral service. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to give up on him.

The other plants were struggling too, but they weren't past the point of no return yet as George seemed to be. So I tried all kinds of things to revive him. I took him out of his pot and gave him fresh soil, that's when I discovered the gnats. No difference. Gave him plant food, nothing changed. I finally took him apart into three pieces. I left one piece in his original pot, and I'm sad to say, I can now throw that away. Another piece I put in a glass of water. While it has not died yet, it is not growing, so I'm not sure how much longer it can hang on. But the third piece I put in a bowl from my kitchen in fresh soil and decided to put all my attention on it. Every day I check it, water it, move it inside or outside depending on weather. And for weeks I saw no change. The one piece left was still green, but it wasn't growing. I was just about to give up, and have that funeral service when I walked outside and saw this.

There, in the middle, George is growing again. I almost cried.

Its very symbolic of everything going on right now. With this pandemic, everything seems sad and lost and dying. We drove by the baseball fields today and I cried. And I know my boys not playing baseball is nothing compared to people losing their businesses, or being separated from their families, or being sick and actually dying. The past few weeks at work have been so stressful and sad and dark. But we know that eventually, we will come back to life. And I promise I will never again complain about too many baseball games!

We listened to Max Lucado last night on TV. He talked about Good Friday, Silent Saturday and Celebration Sunday. Watching George reminded me of Silent Saturday. We can't see what's going on in the dark. We think all hope is dead. We think we might as well give up, walk away and have a funeral service. We think we might live in this sad time forever. But God wants to remind us that we are in the waiting time. We might be in the dark, not seeing that seed that is coming back to life. We might not know when this time will end, but it will end. The light will come back. Our hope is in our Savior, who defeated death, won victory over sickness, and will give us strength and endurance during the waiting, during the silence. And just when we think its time to give up, life will come bursting forth! Tomorrow is Celebration Sunday, and it will be different as far as Easters go. But soon, when all of this is over, we will have an indescribable Celebration as we gather together again, loving our friends and community face to face, and celebrating the goodness of God.

My plant wasn't dead, just overwhelmed with his surroundings. Patience, care, love, endurance and LIGHT is bringing him back. May we rest in God's light this Easter and as we endure and wait during this time. Can't wait to see how we all grow and thrive when this is over. Happy Easter!

Covid Update #2

Covid update: As of tonight, our Children's Center is now closed, so all five of us will be home together. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I have a to do list for myself, but I also want to play games with the kids, or bake together, or walk together. I'm hoping to find something I can do with each son just the two of us. And I am ready to rest! The past few weeks have been some of the most stressful of my life. When I left tonight, I cried a few tears. I do have a peace about the decision, and pray that we are only closed a few weeks, but its emotional to walk away from it.

On the home front, I have been really impressed with how the boys have been handling their at home time. They really crave their school work, and are keeping up. Campbell is in band and is practicing as I type this, and sending videos to his band teacher. We have a new drum set and he's been spending lots of time in the garage. He's also found a game on the computer where he writes songs with different sounds. Cade has been spending time in the kitchen baking. And he's made dad go buy wood and has built some apparatus to use in the garage for baseball. Coop has painted a beautiful picture, has led an online FCA meeting, has had zoom calls with his fellow incoming MC freshmen, and still has legit dual credit college classes he's finishing up. And all three of them go outside everyday and hit or throw. We don't talk about baseball much though. We would probably all cry if we think too much about it. And Jason has been helping them all where he can while having church zoom meetings all day.

Easter is Sunday. It came fast. It will be different and quiet. I haven't had a lot of time this week to think about it, but I was in a zoom call tonight with my life group and we read Luke 24. When we read verses 5 & 6 "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but he has risen," I got a little choked up and probably would have fallen apart had there not been 12 other squares of people who could see me. It just was overwhelming to think of that. He was dead and came back to life. I was dead and he brought me back to life. I didn't go from bad to good, I went from dead to alive. More on that another day.