Back in March, I gave all of my teachers a letter of intent to fill out for next school year, and I gave them a very inspirational speech where I told them to pray about what God would have for them. Pray and ask God if he still has you here, or if there is somewhere else He is leading you. We all have seasons, and sometimes God asks us to do something else. Are you still called to be here? As I was saying all that to them, God nudged my spirit that I needed to pray about that for myself too.
As I began that process of praying and seeking him, we started a new series at church called "Making Room". The first sermon was about our vision. Chip asked if God was asking us to make room in our vision for our lives for what He might have for us. Do we need to make room in our lives for something else that will further his kingdom. And the response song was "Lord Our God". (Promise maker, Promise Keeper, You finish what you begin. Our provision through the desert, You see it through to the end. We won't move without you). That's my song. That's the song God has used many times in my life, especially transition times. Ok God, I hear you. I need some confirmation please. And boy did He give it to me.
I wish you could see my journal over the last few months. You know how sometimes God tells you the same thing a number of different times and ways until you get the point? Usually in my life its just a few times, over a week or so. But this time, well, its May and its still coming. Day after day after day. Devotionals, scripture, songs, people, sermons, books. Thoughts about trusting God, stepping out in faith, God has great plans for you, obedience, leaving the known for the unknown, releasing what you have to prepare for what is coming... day after day after day. If anyone has been following me on Facebook you can read most of them. I swear Christine Caine and Lysa Terkeurst know what's going on in my life and are speaking directly to me! But even on days when I would do our church's reading plan, God would use it!
The sermon series was four weeks, and over those four weeks, I slowly surrendered my plan, and agreed to obey. After the final sermon, we were asked to sign a commitment card about what we were making room for. I couldn't write on the card what I was doing, but that was my commitment. Again, the response song was "Lord my God". (In the silence, in the waiting, Still we can know You are good, All Your plans are for Your glory, Yes, we can know You are good). So now I'm waiting. I don't know what God has for me. I have the perfect plan in my head, directing a preschool during school hours for lots of money! Wouldn't that be great! But I'm waiting for his perfect plan, whatever that might be. I have moments of doubt. What did I just do? But I know what I did. I obeyed. And now I trust. And on the scary days where I wonder how this will turn out, He continues to speak truth to me about his goodness and faithfulness. Just today this was on Facebook. "God's got you. He who promised is faithful. He will never leave nor forsake you."
I've been saying goodbye this week to many children, parents and teachers. I have a few weeks left, but I'm treasuring every goodbye. The good part is, I'll still see many of them at church. And, many of my teachers I have considered friends, but its hard to be a friend and a boss. So now I can just be a friend! God has been so good, so sweet, so faithful to me over the past three years. And I'm excited to see what the next step will be.
