Saturday, March 18, 2006

I am blogging! That's just crazy!

I got to visit with a wonderful childhood friend over springbreak, and she has a blog, and she said it was so easy to set up that I had to give it a try. She was right. So now you are all going to have to suffer for it by reading the ramblings of a preschool mom, minister's wife, and preschool director. When I post I will try to make it humerous and short, but really give you something to chew on so as not to waste your time!

Something I have been sharing with friends the last few weeks just needs to be shared some more, and it is not short or humerous, but bear with me. Its very good.

We took Cooper a few weeks ago to get retested for his allergies. It was the first time he was able to be skin tested, so Jason sat in a recliner and Cooper sat in his lap, chest to chest, while they did 84 pricks on his back. Not so bad. Cooper did great. But then they had to do 9 shots on his arms and take two viles of blood. Very bad! We were all holding him down while he is crying and screaming at the top of his lungs, "STOP DADDY! STOP!" And he's looking at me with a look I hope no other parent has to see, a look that said, "Why are you letting them do this to me!" It was horrible. So keep that picture in mind...

The next morning I was meeting with a friend and I was telling her how God and I are right now. I love God, I trust Him, I know He has a wonderful plan for me and my family, I know years from now I'll be able to look back and see that plan, and I am excited about it. But right now, I don't like Him much. I really don't want to talk to Him because I'm mad about where we are in the plan right now. And I was wondering if He minds that attitude or not. And while I'm talking to my friend, God hit me with "You are Cooper."

I am being tested (in a sense), but He is holding me chest to chest while I'm crying and screaming and its ok. Jason and I knew the big picture for Cooper, how this testing was going to help him feel better in the long run, but he couldn't understand that. We didn't love him any less for his behavior, we expected it. We didn't expect him to act more mature than he is. We understood why he was hurting and it was ok. And when it was all over we took him for a toy! God told me that its ok for me to be upset. He loves me anyway, He doesn't expect me to act more spiritually mature than I am, He knows I can't see the big picture, and when this is all over He'll bless me with something wonderful. That has been carrying me through the last few weeks. It didn't change the situation we are in, waiting for the next part of God's plan, but it comforts me to know that He is holding me through it. I hope that encourages someone else too.

2 comments:

ashley said...

Great first post! God teaches us all through those kinds of trials and you're right - sometimes it's not easy to "consider it pure joy..." as is so prominently stated in James. Thanks for your honesty.

ashley said...

what happened to your blogging?