George, the Pandemic, and Easter

I have 7 plants on my back porch. I have had them all for many years. But don't think I have a green thumb, because I do not for sure. Its a lot of luck. If you really care to read about my past experiences with my plants here are the links to three previous posts about them, so yes, this is my 4th blog post about my plants. Ridiculous.

https://gadman4.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-lack-of-green-thumb.html

https://gadman4.blogspot.com/2012/04/update-on-george-and-friends.html

https://gadman4.blogspot.com/2012/10/update-on-my-babies-my-plant-babies.html

That last post was written in 2012. Almost 8 years later most of those plants are still alive and kicking. But this post is about George... and Easter. If you didn't want to read those posts (and I wouldn't blame you) I'll catch you up. I name my plants. The one I have had the longest is George. George was given to me by my husband on my first birthday after we were married, so I have now had him for 23 years. He has been on his death bed a few times, but always rallied and came back. But I really thought I had lost him this last time.

Basically George was dead a few weeks ago. I think I had left my plants outside when it dropped down below freezing one too many times. Or maybe they got rained on during the monsoon season too much. Or maybe it was the gnat infestation that got him. Or possibly the squirrels that thought my potted plants were a garden to dig in. Either way, George seemed to be a gonner. My kids told me to throw him away and have a funeral service. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to give up on him.

The other plants were struggling too, but they weren't past the point of no return yet as George seemed to be. So I tried all kinds of things to revive him. I took him out of his pot and gave him fresh soil, that's when I discovered the gnats. No difference. Gave him plant food, nothing changed. I finally took him apart into three pieces. I left one piece in his original pot, and I'm sad to say, I can now throw that away. Another piece I put in a glass of water. While it has not died yet, it is not growing, so I'm not sure how much longer it can hang on. But the third piece I put in a bowl from my kitchen in fresh soil and decided to put all my attention on it. Every day I check it, water it, move it inside or outside depending on weather. And for weeks I saw no change. The one piece left was still green, but it wasn't growing. I was just about to give up, and have that funeral service when I walked outside and saw this.

There, in the middle, George is growing again. I almost cried.

Its very symbolic of everything going on right now. With this pandemic, everything seems sad and lost and dying. We drove by the baseball fields today and I cried. And I know my boys not playing baseball is nothing compared to people losing their businesses, or being separated from their families, or being sick and actually dying. The past few weeks at work have been so stressful and sad and dark. But we know that eventually, we will come back to life. And I promise I will never again complain about too many baseball games!

We listened to Max Lucado last night on TV. He talked about Good Friday, Silent Saturday and Celebration Sunday. Watching George reminded me of Silent Saturday. We can't see what's going on in the dark. We think all hope is dead. We think we might as well give up, walk away and have a funeral service. We think we might live in this sad time forever. But God wants to remind us that we are in the waiting time. We might be in the dark, not seeing that seed that is coming back to life. We might not know when this time will end, but it will end. The light will come back. Our hope is in our Savior, who defeated death, won victory over sickness, and will give us strength and endurance during the waiting, during the silence. And just when we think its time to give up, life will come bursting forth! Tomorrow is Celebration Sunday, and it will be different as far as Easters go. But soon, when all of this is over, we will have an indescribable Celebration as we gather together again, loving our friends and community face to face, and celebrating the goodness of God.

My plant wasn't dead, just overwhelmed with his surroundings. Patience, care, love, endurance and LIGHT is bringing him back. May we rest in God's light this Easter and as we endure and wait during this time. Can't wait to see how we all grow and thrive when this is over. Happy Easter!

Covid Update #2

Covid update: As of tonight, our Children's Center is now closed, so all five of us will be home together. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I have a to do list for myself, but I also want to play games with the kids, or bake together, or walk together. I'm hoping to find something I can do with each son just the two of us. And I am ready to rest! The past few weeks have been some of the most stressful of my life. When I left tonight, I cried a few tears. I do have a peace about the decision, and pray that we are only closed a few weeks, but its emotional to walk away from it.

On the home front, I have been really impressed with how the boys have been handling their at home time. They really crave their school work, and are keeping up. Campbell is in band and is practicing as I type this, and sending videos to his band teacher. We have a new drum set and he's been spending lots of time in the garage. He's also found a game on the computer where he writes songs with different sounds. Cade has been spending time in the kitchen baking. And he's made dad go buy wood and has built some apparatus to use in the garage for baseball. Coop has painted a beautiful picture, has led an online FCA meeting, has had zoom calls with his fellow incoming MC freshmen, and still has legit dual credit college classes he's finishing up. And all three of them go outside everyday and hit or throw. We don't talk about baseball much though. We would probably all cry if we think too much about it. And Jason has been helping them all where he can while having church zoom meetings all day.

Easter is Sunday. It came fast. It will be different and quiet. I haven't had a lot of time this week to think about it, but I was in a zoom call tonight with my life group and we read Luke 24. When we read verses 5 & 6 "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but he has risen," I got a little choked up and probably would have fallen apart had there not been 12 other squares of people who could see me. It just was overwhelming to think of that. He was dead and came back to life. I was dead and he brought me back to life. I didn't go from bad to good, I went from dead to alive. More on that another day.

Covid-19 Gadman Family Update

Four out of the five of us are hunkered down at home during this lovely virus crisis. The one who is still out and about, that would be me. I'm still working because our daycare is still open, and will remain open as long as we can to help our families who need to work at their essential jobs. It has been incredibly stressful balancing the safety of our children and staff with the help we want to give to the community. Many daycares in the area have closed. We only have about 1/4 of our kids, but that's still 75 kids coming. We are staggering our staff, cleaning like mad people, and checking temperatures at the door. And we just keep going, reminding ourselves of God's goodness.

On the home front, kids are doing online school stuff, and luckily I have older kids who are self starters who love school so we haven't had any issues. Hubby is working from home helping the church come up with ways to minister to the community. I have cooked more and we have sat at the table more in the past two weeks, well I just can't remember how long its been. So I'm treasuring these moments, especially with my senior.

That's been the hardest part of this. We were in Biloxi for a baseball tournament when the world came to a stop and the NBA suspended their season. We couldn't believe it and thought everyone was over reacting. But by Saturday at their last game, we were all waiting for the inevitable email to come that said school was out. They lost the last game by 1 run in 10 innings. Many of the seniors were on the field crying because we had a strong suspicion it would be their last game of their high school career. It didn't really hit me then or I would have probably been crying too.

We have three boys who play baseball, and we are sitting at home every night watching movies. That's not where we're supposed to be. I'm supposed to be cheering my high school senior on as he pitches. I'm supposed to be cheering my JV player on as he finds his place on his new team. He never got to play a game at all this season. And I'm supposed to be cheering on my 11 year old and his select team who have become his best friends. They have played in one tournament, which they did win, so we can say we are undefeated this season! The color coded calendar with all their games on it just taunts me. Normally I am in full blown exhaustion mode at this point, but loving every minute of watching them play. But instead I am treasuring the few games Cooper did get to play and remembering the awesome moments he had. I'm looking forward to next year for Cade. And hoping our youngest gets to play this summer.

My senior was supposed to be going to prom this weekend. And graduation is scheduled for May 11. So we're still praying that might happen. But in the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy these quiet moments with him. He will be gone in just a few short months. So I know I will treasure this time when I look back on it, some day. But for now, we hold hands at dinner around the table (after we have washed them), take elderberry and vitamin C, and pray really hard for this to pass quickly, for protection, and for us to have good family time. This too shall pass. And God is not surprised by any of it. But it stinks all the same.

 

Birthday Battle

As I fully expected, my idea of blogging more often is much harder when I'm not at a conference by myself, when I'm home with laundry, meals, baseball practices, a full time job and sleeping somewhere along the way. But I really have to try! It feels so good to get my thoughts out, and it helps my heart and brain to function better. Jason and I took a personality test once that was different than most, and the only thing I remember is that I was "literary". It said that meant I think in a literary sense, and its so true! Thoughts in my head are stories that I write in blog form, or Facebook post form some days. I even will rewrite parts I don't like. Sometimes its bad because I write the worst possible endings to my stories if I'm not in a good head space. I have to stop myself and rewrite it and change the ending. I get mad at myself sometimes. Why do you end it that way!? That wouldn't happen! Stop worrying about the worst possible scenario. Expect the better option, not the worst. Its like a battle.

I read a great passage the other day that kind of gave me some strategies for fighting the battle. Its kind of random, but go with me here. 1 Chronicles 12, the Mighty Men of David. Saul had just died and David is slowly taking the throne to be king of Israel. Men from all the tribes come from all over to support him and make sure he takes the throne. It lists every tribe and how many they sent to fight. It describes them with such powerful words: mighty men, bowmen who could shoot arrows with either hand, stronghold, experienced warriors, faces were like the faces of lions, swift as gazelles, valor, men who had understanding of the times, weapons of war, singleness of purpose, shield and spear, equipped and ready for battle, a whole heart to make David king, a single mind!

I wrote in my journal when I read that, "when God sends you to battle, he will send you an army. And when they are united, of single mind and purpose, they are unstoppable!" It reminded me to make sure I am assembling people around me who are united with me, who will support me, encourage me, fight for me if necessary. And in my thoughts, I have to tell myself that I have an army of God behind me and before me. God will not let me fight alone. When the stories pop into my head that don't end well, I have to change the story and fight the battle of my mind with stories of victory and goodness, not defeat. Not that bad things won't happen, they will. But I have to stay focused on the goodness of God. I need to be of single mind, have a singleness of purpose, my whole heart focused on God's calling to me, don't get distracted by the negative. Keep my warriors around me.

Today is my birthday. It hasn't been all roses and sweetness. But I have to change the negative story in my head and focus on all the good, the sweet birthday wishes, my awesome decorated desk and gifts from my coworkers, a yummy homemade chocolate birthday cake, and spending time with family. Fight the mental battle. Change the story to focus on the positive. Surround yourself with an army of people who love and support you. Change your heart to a heart of gratefulness.

Bibles

As any good Southern Baptist girl does, I have Bibles all over my house from my whole life, because I just don't know what to do with an old Bible. I would never be able to get rid of one. I'm sure I could give it to someone who needs one, like some powerful moment in the airport or something, but that's never happened to me, so my Bibles pile up in a bookshelf. I have my pink Precious Moments Bible from Elementary School. My beautiful green Bible from high school that the cover came off of so its in a green Bible cover. I have a Women's Devotional Bible that was given to me from a sweet family I babysat for as a high school graduation gift. We have a huge Family Bible that was given to us as a wedding gift. I have a couple of tiny Bibles that I bought throughout the years to travel with because I thought it would be easier, but the font is so small, how can anyone read those things. My current Bible I take to church is a fairly recent purchase before Lifeway stores went out of business (don't get me started on that, that's for another blog post.). I love it, my current favorite color of turquoise and in the same version our pastor uses to preach out of. But this post is really about my favorite Bible.

Jason's first church as a youth minister was Trinity Baptist Church in Henderson, TX. When he was interviewing with them he took me with him on the interview, and we weren't even engaged yet, but close. While we served there, we got engaged and married. The church pianist and organist played at our wedding and their kids were our ring bearer and flower girls. (Goodness, those kids are in their late 20s now!) And our sweet pastor did our welcome. And every Sunday while we attended there, Jude and Gaynell Glascock sat behind us in church. They were the sweetest older couple who I know genuinely prayed for us and our ministry there.

When I graduated from college, Jude asked me what I wanted as a graduation gift, and I said a new Bible that had my new married name on it. He brought me money and told me to go pick out a new Bible. I picked out a navy NIV Study Bible and was so proud to engrave Christy Gadman on the cover. I remember how excited I was so show it to them and wanted them to sign the inside of it, but they were afraid their elderly handwriting wouldn't look good, so they watched me write in the cover that they had given it to me on that date.

I still use that Bible for most of my quiet times in the mornings, 22 years later. Because its so big, I haven't taken it to church very much, so its still in good shape. But it has so much underlined in it. I did use it in Seminary and so the 20 verses I had to memorize in my Biblical counseling class are underlined in a different color. I'm not one to write too many notes in the margins, I fill up journals instead, so you won't find too much written there. But if I only had time to grab one Bible if we had to leave quickly that would be it.

I did a search of those sweet people awhile back. Jude passed away in 2004 at 89 years of age. He had been a Baptist pastor. He had married Gaynell after his first wife died and they had been married 14 years when he passed, but when you met them, you would have thought they had been married forever. Gaynell passed away in 2007 at 91. I will always remember their kindness and support of this young newly married couple at their first church who didn't know what they were doing. And I treasure that Bible they gifted me. I hope I can pass on that kindness to the next generation.

How to fight my critical spirit

Its been over two years since I blogged last. That shows you what a full time job and three kids will do to you. But I've been itching to start back. I think my brain might work better if I take time to be creative and process things in writing. And God teaches me so many things that I might journal for myself, but I think other people might learn from them too if I'm willing to share. So here goes.

I'm at a conference this week in Orlando, ALL BY MYSELF! I am an introvert and enjoy having quiet time, but its almost been too much. I have seen my brother for dinner and ran into a former staff member, and have of course talked to my hubby on the phone, and that's been just about enough to get my word count up to an acceptable level. I'm enjoying my conversations with the Lord too. He's been talking to me a lot.

What I did not enjoy was what he told me yesterday morning in our first session. We were having an extended prayer time where there were stations around the room and we were supposed to go to the stations or have prayer and worship in our chairs. I was journaling and praying and having a perfectly wonderful time between me and the Lord when I was rudely interrupted by these two ladies behind me who had apparently decided they were not going to participate and proceeded to talk to each other the whole time, not particularly quietly either. The longer it went on the madder I got. I fumed and said unkind things to them, in my head. I prayed and told God how rude they were. And then I was mad at myself for being so critical of people. I am a critical person by nature. Its why I'm good at my job, because I'm always looking for how things can be done better.

As I complained to God about the women and my own critical spirit, He gave me a blue print for how to deal with my critical nature in very practical terms.
1. Fix the problem. (I could have told the women to be quiet or take it somewhere else. But since I would never do that, on to #2)
2. Change yourself. (I could have moved somewhere else. But since I was comfortable where I was with all my stuff out, I didn't, so on to #3)
3. Deal with it. Fix your attitude. If you aren't going to do #1 or #2, then you just have to figure out how to over look it or change your attitude.

Seems simple. So I tried it the next two main sessions. The next one I ended up sitting by a women who made up motions to the songs, not sign language (which I love watching), but motions like she was in a youth choir in the 80s. She was breaking chains, and counting the 3 parts of the Trinity. So I tried my new blueprint. I can't ask her to stop worshiping in whatever way she wants to worship. So I did a mixture of #2 and #3. I shifted enough where I was standing so that I didn't see her out of the corner of my eye and then I just thanked God that I was next to someone so passionate about worshiping her Father.

Session three, I sit down and not five minutes later a couple of ladies sit in front of me and one of them has their child with them, maybe a 3 or 4 year old. Now I love kids, its what I do and I'm at a Children's Pastors conference. But that's one of the reasons we come to things like this, to GET A BREAK FROM KIDS! So nope. So I did #2. I got up and moved far away. No reason to sit and be distracted and fume the whole time about why she brought her kid. And it worked. I had a great time of worship and wasn't worried about that sweet child and his momma.

So that's my blueprint for dealing with a critical nature. Its helping so far in this bubble of a Christian conference. We'll see how it works in a few days when I get back to the real world!

I'm glad to be back in the blogging world. It feels good.