Wednesday, January 29, 2014

To Candy Crush... or Not?

My momma gave me a Kindle Fire for Christmas and I love it. In the process of downloading music, books and apps, my kiddos asked if they could download Candy Crush. I almost said no. I should have said no. But I didn't. Its free. What harm could it do? I have heard from many friends and even on Good Morning America that women are addicted to this game. And I have realized from my addiction to Facebook, that I can lean in that direction, being addicted to a computer thing. But I thought, I won't play it. Its just for the kids. That lasted about two days.

We just moved here three weeks ago, my hubby has been out of town for the last two weeks, and we have been snowed in the last two days. You mix my loneliness with my boredom with my addictive tendencies and its the perfect storm. I'll just play once. Yeah right. Literally after playing twice, I was hooked and I have played every chance I've had the last four days. The pretty colors of the candies, the exhilaration you feel when you get a good combo and things start popping all over the screen, and the pride you feel when you finally get past a level that was stumping you just keep you playing! I committed that I wasn't going to pay any money or ask for any help for Facebook. So, the fact that when you lose your lives you have to take a break worked in my favor. I got some things done around the house waiting for my life to be resurrected. My kids were mad at me. "Mom, you are using all the lives so we can't play!" Tough, its momma's game now. I was looking online for cheats to figure out how to get past a level. Yes, its all ridiculous. And I broke my commitment last night at 11 when I realized I had to pay 99 cents to get to the next round of levels. Its only a buck. That's worth it.

But tonight, it all ended. My middle sweet one brought me his spelling list to call out words for him and I did it, while playing Candy Crush. I have no idea really if he was spelling them correctly or not. That was a wake up call. And then I went to church, yes, I go to church on Wednesday nights and love it. The sermon tonight was about the first church being committed to purity, power and passion for Jesus and how we need to be striving for that. We need to be aware of our sins and striving for purity so we can be the vessel that God wants us to be. And as I was listening, I realized I was also thinking about Candy Crush. And I got punched in the gut. Now, I'm not saying that Candy Crush is a sin because on its own its not. But for me, putting it above so many other things in my life that I need to be focused on, and wasting so much time that I need to be spending with my kids, on my work, on my home and with God, well, it had quickly become a sin for me.

So on the way home, I informed my children that Candy Crush was going to have to be deleted off the Kindle. I explained why, and only the little one argued with me. I think the older two knew exactly what I was talking about and probably agreed with me. The little one just complained because he never got to play it. The oldest responded with "Exactly!" I just explained that for right now, momma doesn't have the self control to not play it. Maybe one day I'll try again. The middle one complained that we had made it so far and would lose our progress. Well, there was no we, it was all me son. And I'm willing to let it go. After they were in bed, I played one more time, but when I used my last life, it was pretty literal because I then deleted the game from my Kindle. I'm going through withdrawals. Maybe that's why I'm blogging.

I fell off the wagon. It turns out that you have to delete it 2 or 3 times before it actually goes away. So I started back again. But I am using it to reward myself when jobs are done. And since hubby is back I'm not as lonely, so therefore not dying to play it. We'll see if I can control myself.

UPDATE 2, 2/26
I did ok for a few weeks and then I realized I was addicted again. I was searching frantically around the house for the kindle, frustrated when I had other things I had to do first before playing, upset when I ran out of lives and had to wait for new ones, and irritated when it took me days to get passed a level. It had to stop. So I deleted it for good. I had a few days of serious withdrawals, so bored in my few minutes of free time. I actually had a moment of weakness and downloaded it again but when I realized I had to start over, it made me mad so I deleted it again. Now that I'm a week away from it, I'm doing ok. I read a whole book in the last two days, and I'm not thinking about it anymore. I have learned my lesson! I think.

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