To have or not to have...

I am debating daily about whether or not we should have a third child. I love babies, love being pregnant, really don't mind childbirth (I think God helps you forget that part), and don't mind nursing. But I really don't want to gain and then try to lose weight again since I've heard its harder when you are older. Don't really want to go through the losing sleep again. I am weeks away from no more diapers. But I feel like there is a hole in our family. I really would like to try one more time for a girl so I can have a relationship like I have with my mom. But what if its another boy. Can I handle the yelling, screaming, throwing, fighting, and wrestling multiplied, or would that happen even if it was a girl. And can I handle three, because there are some days when the screaming is coming from me that I'm not quite sure.

Jason doesn't care one way or the other. But his questions to me were do you just miss having a baby, because if that's it, you'll want another one later, and there are no more after three, so just get over that now. Or do you really want a girl, if so we should just adopt one. If we have another one I want to do it soon because I don't want them too far apart, but if we have another one we have to get a new car because we don't have room for three kids in my camry, but we don't have money right now to get one.

So, do you see my horrible thought process? I think through these thoughts daily! Its driving me crazy! Cooper we just decided on because when its your first you really don't know what you are deciding on, and a month later I was pregnant, and Cade was a wonderful surprise. So I haven't had to make this kind of decision. I tell myself to just pray about it and wait for God's answer, and trust Him. But it isn't working. I was hoping that teaching in the infant class in our preschool would curb my desires, but it only made it worse. Those sweet babies are so cute and I am fairly good with babies. But what if I run out of my good luck and get a child with a not so cute personality? (I have taught some) Or have a child with a disability? I know that sounds very selfish and horrible, but no one can tell me they have never had those thoughts. Or even worse, TWINS! I have a friend at church who decided to have a third and is having twins! TRUST GOD! TRUST GOD! TRUST GOD! Right?

What day is it?

I can remember looking at my summer calendar back in April, and thinking that it looked long and empty, and whatever would we do with all that time. And now, it is about to be August, and this has been the busiest summer I can remember. VBS, visiting grandparents, vacation, preschool conference, sickness, Dallas, and I'm sure I've left out something. We still have Preschool Playdays next week that I am directing, a wedding in Shreveport, a quick trip to San Antonio, and getting ready for kindergarten events. I am tired. And actually ready for school to start back, just to have that routine where everything is the same for two weeks in a row. Yes, I know, in October I will say how bored I am of the routine, but I won't think of that right now.

Oh, I know what I forgot. Potty training. Oh yes, nothing makes all of those things listed above more fun than potty training a three year old boy who really doesn't care that you are in a public place with a bathroom you would rather not use. Or that you just stopped at a restaurant five minutes ago, and now he needs to go. Oh wait, that's the 5 year old boy. The 3 year old boy has brought me to my knees praying that he will be brave enough to do #2 on the potty and stop hiding in closets and behind furniture. The fun adventures of a preschool mom's summer!

Gulf Shores

The boys and I went with a friend Michelle and her daughter Madison to their family's beach house in Gulf Shores, AL. We had a really great time, swimming, fishing, shopping, eating, and catching fun sea creatures like crabs, fish, frogs and snails. They have a great outlet mall that took up some time during the raining moments. If you ever visit there, don't eat at the Giggling Grouper, bad service and the food wasn't worth the price. But do visit the Chick-fil-a, just the nicest group of retirees working there. We have decided we want to retire to Disney World and work there, so check back on that in 30 years.

And then of course, the ocean. Nothing reminds you how big God is and how little we are then looking at the ocean, beautiful. I am chicken about swimming with creatures around me, but I got in enough to be proud of myself. Cade was like me, but Cooper was a little dolphin! He and Jason spent hours riding the waves on their boogy boards. Cade tried once and you can see his smile, but once was enough for him. Cade and I spent some precious time together sitting on the beach, drawing in the sand, and watching the waves wash it away. No one got too sunburned, but me of course. But aloe worked wonders. Hope you enjoy the pictures.