I found out yesterday that I was the top seller in Trades of Hope for the month of October. I will admit that I teared up a little bit. It has been a long time since I have felt pride in myself for doing something well. I do struggle with the sin of pride, that stinky kind where you judge other people and don't take constructive critisicm well. But this is that good kind of pride when you feel good about something you have accomplished. I imagine its that same kind of pride you feel when you finish running a marathon (I will never experience that feeling). But I can only give the glory to God because this is something I never thought I would be good at, and I still don't think I am. There are still so many parts of this job I can do better. But He is blessing me and these sweet ladies that I am advocating for in such huge ways. It feels so wonderful to be in the midst of God's will and to be able to see in a concrete way His blessings.
I do love being a mom and I do love my ministry in weekday, but its a lot harder to get positive, concrete rewards from those jobs. I do love when I'm doing music in a two year old class and they get so excited to see me when I come in. I figure that must mean I'm doing something well, but still, its hard to get that sense of pride from that. I try each day to give this job back to the Lord that He has given me, and it just falls into place. I am meeting tomorrow night with a lady who can't come to a party at the end of the month, but has been praying about a new home business and wants to get more info about becoming a part of my team. Do you know how out of my comfort zone it is to meet a stranger for coffee? But knowing that we have this desire in common, to help women and be in the midst of God's will, I know that our conversation has a place to start! It feels so amazing to get up each morning and wonder what God will put in my path. Its making all parts of my life more exciting because when you see God moving in one area, you know He is in other areas too and I don't want to miss seeing that!
I don't know if I will ever be top seller again. There are so many new people joining the team that it will be harder to keep up, and trying to keep my family and jobs all balanced may not allow me to spend as much as I was able to this past month, but it feels good to know that being top seller isn't my goal anyway. I only want to be doing what God has called me to do. I am so thankful to Him for calling me to do this and giving me direction each day to do it. And a little bit of the good kind of pride in myself can go a long way!