I don't think it is just me. If it is, humor me. But Sunday mornings in our house are harder than school days as far as getting ready and getting out the door without killing each other. Jason is gone before we get up so its just me and the boys, and on school days they do most things without me having to stay on them. But Sunday mornings are just rough. And Easter Sunday morning for the last two years that I can remember, turned into a war, a battle of wills. Clothes don't work, things break or spill, my normally mostly obedient children become terrors, and by the time I get to church, I have to pray for my soul. Yesterday was the worst ever. And it took the whole worship time for me to get calmed down. I told myself it was a demon trying to keep me from coming to church, but that wasn't optional, so why was I being bothered. But then I realized I missed out on the whole time of worshiping my Savior because of my bad attitude and angry bitterness. That stupid little evil thing won that battle.
God has been showing me something this past week in His word and it all came together today when I thought about my morning. Jesus' last meal with his disciples tends to be portrayed as a sweet time of fellowship between Jesus and his closest brothers, and I'm sure some of it was. But the other day I was reading in Luke about the Last Supper and I realized that's not was it was at all. Jesus talked about how his body was about to be broken, his blood spilled. He talked about how someone was about to betray him, and someone else was about to deny him. He actually told his men to make sure they had some swords, two would be enough. He was preparing them for battle. He knew what was coming and he was preparing them the best he could.
The next time all the disciples were with Jesus was after his resurrection. They were all mourning and wondering what had happened. It was not what they were expecting. The entry from my Jesus Calling book yesterday says, "When I appeared to my disciples after the resurrection, it was Peace that I communicated first of all. I knew this was their deepest need: to calm their fears and clear their minds." He said "Peace be with you."
I love that. Peace. Peace after a battle. Battles will happen, they will come. He wants us to spend time with him so that we are prepared for those battles. And then He is waiting to offer us peace. Peace when we are confused about what that was that just happened to us. Peace because even when it feels like he wasn't around when we needed him, he was. Peace when we don't understand and we are worn out and tired from the battles.
My Easter morning battle was very minor compared to most. I know that. But I love it when God teaches me something in the minor times so when the major ones come, I am prepared. Prepared for the next battle that comes and comforted by his Peace!