My big boy!

Start 'em early in the Gadman household! He's pretty good for a 9 month old if I do say so myself!

Memorial Day weekend update

Cooper's baseball team lost in the division championship game. I felt a new emotion that night that I have never felt before as a mom. I don't know how to describe it, except to say I hurt for him because I knew how disappointed he was. The whole game was so stressful because I wanted him (and Jason) to be pleased and they weren't. Older parents told me to get used to it. It only gets worse as they get older. Great.

He did make All-stars, and I am so proud of him! I had no idea what a big deal it is. The practices have a completely different aura about them. We are in the big leagues now. This is some serious baseball! He is so excited. Very passionate about the game, which after playing already for three months is pretty amazing. They practice pretty heavily for three weeks and then start a double elimination tournament. Some of the moms are buying mom shirts and I feel torn. I want to show him I am proud of him and cheering him on, but if they lose two games right off the bat, then I have spent that money for nothing. And I don't think me wearing a shirt will help him play any better.

Jason is on a mission trip this week in Honduras building a playground at an orphanage. What a guy! I miss him. I don't know about you, but if my husband's gone a day or two once a month or so, that would be perfect. But this ten day thing is really hard. And then I think about military wives. I don't know how they do it.

American Idol. Once again, I am going through withdrawals. There is nothing to look forward to on tv! I was a complete Danny Gokey fan until he left. Then I actually voted 5 times for Kris simply to be voting against Adam because he freaks me out. I'm sure my 5 votes made the difference in the nearly 100 million votes. But I tell you, the night of the finale, when Kris sang with Keith Urban, I fell in love with him! Such a cutie! And I actually downloaded "Boundaries" off itunes. It just makes me smile, even if it is cheesy. I can't wait for his CD to come out.

Quick Update and observations

Cooper's team finished the regular season at 11-6, I think. I lost track, but they are in 1st place, playoff tournament is next week. And we are waiting with baited breath to see if he made all-stars, which around here is a big deal. If he did, practice everyday and then traveling games. Whew. I am torn about whether I want him to make it or not! :)
I think posting my last blog into the blogosphere made me straighten up. So I have actually been in the Word almost every day since. I found this mother's Bible study that my friend Kay, a missionary in Singapore, gave me before she went back overseas when she was cleaning out her books. I've had it on my shelf for 3 or 4 years, but God just now led me to get it out. And its really helped me! I can tell small differences in myself, a little more patient (except this morning getting ready for church), going to the Lord more in prayer, a little less sensitive, and I worshipped a little more this morning. Progress!
My observation: A choir from Baylor sang in church this morning, and for the first time that I can remember, I looked at them and thought how young they looked, which then made me feel old! For the longest time, I would see college kids and think they looked as old as I was, or even older and cooler. But today, they looked young and innocent and like kids, and I felt old and like a mother. Does anyone else get that?

One month later...

Let's see, Cooper's baseball team is 8-4, Cade is still bored, but turned 5 yesterday. Campbell is army crawling and putting everything in his mouth. Most nights I am conked out before Jason comes to bed. Our pastor resigned. Gearing up for summer, VBS, trying to figure out what to do with the long summer. Went and saw Thomas the Train in Dallas, on the coldest weekend of the year it seemed. Had a garage sale, made $300, not sure if it was worth the effort. But Dave Ramsey would be proud. Two months on a budget using envelope system. Yeah, I think those are the highlights.

Ok ladies, (and men, but I don't think men will understand this part) most of the time, I do not put myself down for stuff I don't get done as a mom. I see articles in magazines or Oprah where moms say they feel like failures, and think they are the only one, only to realize that most moms feel that way, and I usually don't understand that mentality. I usually let stuff go and tell myself that I am doing the best I can. But the past few weeks I have felt like I am hanging on by my fingernails, making mistakes, looking at piles of laundry and dishes and papers, and crashing in bed at night wondering what I did all day. We realized last night that I paid $55 to renew the registration on our car that we got rid of last summer. And I broke down and started crying, it was just the straw that broke me, feeling like I am an idiot. I also recognize that the last few months I have not been feeding myself spiritually or getting much from church because I'm not in a small group right now, so I know there is a connection. I know that when I am not feeding myself with the truth of how God sees me, then I see myself the way I think the world sees me, which isn't pretty. I need to do something, and I admit that. So say a little prayer for me if you think about it. Thanks.

Yes, our pastor resigned last week. He's been at our church for 22 years. We've only been there 2 1/2, so we aren't as attached as many of our church members are. We've known since Feb. so it wasn't a shock to us as it was to many. As usual, he is handling it with such responsibility and grace and respect for people. He is a good man. But it will cause stress, change always does. For our family personally its stressful because when Jason was younger, his pastor left, and when the new one came, he told the whole staff to leave so he could bring in his own people. Jason's dad didn't want to and eventually was fired. I don't think UBC would hire someone who would do that. But there is always the chance that Jason just wouldn't jive with the new pastor. We just have to take one day at a time. It could be a long time before we get a new one anyway. No reason to stress now.

Our pastor gave a great sermon the week before Easter that has stuck with me, which doesn't usually happen. He said we are all time travelers. We like to travel to the past, but instead of taking our friends thankfulness and joy, we take regret, anger, and unforgiveness. We like to travel to the future, but instead of taking hope and peace, we take anxiety and worry. Its ok to time travel if you take the right companions. But we should also really enjoy today. What time is it? Its now. Where are you? I am here. I guess that sums up my blog today. I need to stop thinking about the past few weeks as a failure, but look at it with thankfulness and look ahead with hope. And I need to not worry about the future for Jason or the church, but look ahead with peace and joy. Thank you Father for reminding me again of your faithfulness!

Updates

Its been so long. Not a whole lot to talk about actually.
Baseball:
Cooper's team is 4-0, top of their rankings. Jason is the coach, so needless to say, we are a proud bunch.
Cade's t-ball team, well, its just humerous. He really needs to be playing coach pitch. Most of the kids don't know which way to run, or what is going on. Cade gets people out, but doesn't understand that they aren't counting outs or keeping score, so he gets frustrated. He is the all-star of the team if I do say so myself.
But between the two of them, we have a game or practice just about every day of the week except Sunday. Jason does most of it, so I can't complain too much, but I do see my future as a sports mom long and stretched out before me.
Campbell:
Just the sweetest baby ever! Already 7 months old, eats everything you put in front of him, loves to laugh. The joy of my life!
Blessing:
I have been wanting a new camera for awhile. I have a pocket size digital, but if any of you know me very well, I used to be quite a photographer with a really fancy camera, which I still have, but its not digital. So I've been researching for awhile, but with us going through Dave Ramsey, I just couldn't justify the cost. I was at home this week, and my step-dad blessed me with a new camera out of the blue! He just bought this camera, a really fancy nice one, a few months back. But my brother, who worked at Circuit City and is now jobless, called him to tell him he had the same camera, only one model up, for $10, because it was broken. So my step-dad bought it, fixed it, and then sold me his camera for $10! God totally blessed me for being patient! He's so good!
TV Randomness:
I'm watching ER. Who are all these people? I haven't watched in a few years. There is no one left!
I love the Bonnie Hunt show. So funny.
DWTS, I don't really care about the majority of the dancers. No one I'm really rooting for.
AI, I like lots of them. Really rooting for Danny, is that is name?
What I did today:
Cleaned the big boys rooms, went to the zoo, which I knew was a mistake on Spring Break, but we did it anyway. Once we got in, it was ok, but we drove around the zoo, or crawled actually, for almost an hour finding a parking spot. I started to go home, but once you've invested that much time, you don't want it to go to waste. Cooper got allergy shots and we had pancakes for dinner. And most importantly, I didn't kill anyone. There were a few spankings, which doesn't normally happen, but no tears, so I must not have spanked too hard. Come home J, come home!

I'm getting tired of Blues Clues

Both my big boys have enjoyed Blues Clues. Cade outgrew it a while back, I thought. But about 2 months ago he watched an episode and became addicted again. I DVR 3 episodes a day and he will watch them over and over and over. Yes, I am a terrible mother. But most of the time he's not really watching it, its just on. He loves to draw. He would use up my whole stack of computer paper if I let him. Well that makes a lot of sense. I limit his use of paper but not the tv. Oh dear. But at least its a pretty good show for a preschool show, educational, interactive. The other day he wanted me to go online and find some BC games to play. Because of my lovely dial up, I couldn't get the american version to upload, but I found the British version, with Kevin. Very funny! Instead of shovel and pail, there is spade and bucket. And Periwinkle has a girls voice instead of a boys voice. But just to have Kevin's British accent is really entertaining. All the characters have British accents. I would love to watch some of those episodes.
Campbell is still enjoying cereal, tolerating applesauce, enjoying squash, and LOVING sweet potatoes. I couldn't get them in his mouth fast enough.
I have a job interview next Monday night at another church for a weekday director's position. I am very excited and very terrified at the same time. If I get farther than that, I will post more details. I don't want to jinx it. I am just praying that God will open doors He wants me to go through and close doors He doesn't want me to go through. I need a good slamming of the doors sometimes to get my attention. Hopefully they don't hit my nose as they slam!

6 months old!

My last baby is 6 months old. When did that happen? Doctor said he looks great. His weight is down, so time for cereal. She said when we gave it to him, if I tried half the bowl and he was still pushing it out instead of in, then he wasn't ready yet. So last night the whole family gathered round, including Memoo, to watch the event. When I gave him the first bite, he started shaking, which kind of freaked us all out. But then we decided it was out of excitement of something new. He scarfed down the bowl! There was no doubt he was ready. Hardly any came out, and when the bowl was empty, he was looking for more. He was even opening his mouth waiting for the wonderful bite of boring, tasteless rice cereal. This morning I made it thicker, and didn't think that would work, but again, he waited not very patiently for each bite, and inhaled the bowl. I am so proud and excited for him, yet sad. When my oldest was growing, I was so excited for each new thing, the joyfulness of something new entering our daily routine and home. But this sweet baby, I just want him to stop, and stay the same and lay there and just smile at me. But I can't stop him. He is growing, with or without my blessing. And I look at my now 7 year old and think that I can't be old enough to have a 1st grader, and where did the time go. And my 4 year old who is going to kindergarten next year. When my oldest graduated from preschool, I didn't shed a tear, and was so ready to kick him out of the house to big school. But the 4 year old is going to bring a few tears, and I hate to see myself in another 4 years. I will be a wreck! And college! Oh my gosh. Don't even go there! My mom asked me last night if I would turn the crib into the big bed for this one. I stopped that conversation real quick. He will sleep in a crib forever. Oh the joys and sadnesses of motherhood. I wouldn't miss it for the world!

$2.00

I am eating some chocolate covered almonds. $2.00. See below.

Sickness all around...

I haven't blogged in so long. Its not for a lack of time. I get online everyday, but I think I check facebook first, which doesn't take brain cells, and by the time I'm done there, I don't want to use brain cells to write something on my blog. That's my theory anyway.
There hasn't been much going on anyway. We've all been sick. Campbell and Cooper had one form of the virus which included fever. And the other three of us have another form that doesn't have fever, so we don't feel as bad, but still have runny noses, sore throats, etc. Its been Campbells first illness where he had fever. We spent some lovely quality time in the guest room the last few nights. Actually, last night I was in tears at 1 am. I was so tired. But then I thought back to the first few weeks of his life when I was up every 2 to 3 hours and I wasn't in tears then. I think God gives new moms some kind of super human strength to get thru those first few months and then it wears off. Campbell will be 6 months old on Monday. I am so sad.
The two older boys have been playing basketball but baseball started this week, so we officially have a sport every day of the week but Sunday for the rest of this month. Oh my life as a mom of boys is just beginning! At least Jason does the majority of it. I think he knows if he didn't, they wouldn't be playing. BTW, does anyone want to buy a chocolate bar? We have to sell $110 worth of chocolate for baseball. And do you know how tempting it is for me to eat it all? Its just sitting in our den, staring at me, but costing $2 a bar. Self-control. Dave Ramsey!
We are about to go to the park. I realized that I only have a few more months of having Cade with me, so I am trying to do more things with him. He loves to play basketball with me. I try to last 10 minutes before I get bored out of my mind.

Picks of the Week & Quick Update

My swiffer vacuum - great for our laminate wood floors

Pizza Hut Pasta - we tried all three flavors, they are all great

My new dry erase board above my desk- It has a pretty black frame around it, I taped our Jan. calendar up on it, wrote a scathing Bible verse about watching our tongues, and put which zone of my house I'm supposed to be cleaning this week, which I won't clean I'm sure

We had to take Coops to the dentist today to have a tooth pulled. One of his lower front teeth had been loose for months, and we realized a few weeks ago that the new tooth was already in, way behind the baby tooth. So wonderful Dr. Peters told him he was going to measure it, but instead popped it out. He said he was glad he fooled him because it didn't hurt. So now he is a snaggle tooth because the new tooth is way out of place. I feel I have failed him as a mother. I should have noticed long ago the new tooth. Oh well, I'll get over it. I'll add it to the list of things he can blame me for in the future.

That reminds me, Cooper lost his first tooth while we were in Bryan while evacuating from Ike. He was so excited. We woke up the next morning to realize we had forgotten to put money under his pillow! He was looking for it furiously. I snuck a dollar (yes, our tooth fairy is cheap) to Jason and he asked Cooper to hand him his pillow so he could look in it, and amazingly, there was the dollar! The tooth fairy snuck the dollar into the pillowcase instead of under the pillow. That silly tooth fairy! And the tooth fairy tonight is bringing quarters because that's all I have! I wonder how those will get lost in the bed.

Happy Anniversary!

Twelve years ago today I married my husband. This is a really major milestone for me. My marriage has lasted longer than many in my family of origin. I won't go into details because they wouldn't want me to. But I am proud of myself, and Jason. He did have a part in it too. I'm not sure what he would say, but I would say the last few months have been the hardest, a new baby, financial stress, major church changes, etc. But I think we are working through it and will hopefully come out stronger on the other end. This morning in Sunday School our teacher was talking about doubt and asked how we knew that our spouse was "the one". I remembered that I almost called off our wedding, mostly out of fear because of the divorces in my family. But I said to myself, I'm not sure I can live with him, but I know I can't live without him, so we'll work on the rest. And here we are. We sat at the lunch table today and looked around at all that God had blessed us with the last 12 years. It was overwhelming. I am so amazed at how God brought us together. We have the same philosophy on parenting, the same taste in tv (except sports) and music, the same ideas on what church and worship we enjoy. And most of that we didn't really know when we got married. But God knew. Maybe we didn't have all that in common then, but we have evolved together. Either way, we are a good match. There are days when we have to remember that we made a commitment to each other and the Lord. But there are days, like today, when he was praying in church, that I thought, I have married a very handsome, wonderful man. Thank you God. Of course, we really didn't realize 12 years ago that marrying on Jan. 4 was not setting us up for great anniversaries. By now, we have no money left and no energy left from the holidays. Except for our 10th, we really haven't done anything. Today we had our usual Taco Bell for lunch, he had a meeting at church, nothing special. But that is our life, and I am thankful for it!

Quick Update

Cooper's allergy testing: Well, according to his tests, he has outgrown everything but peanuts! I don't believe it! I have been dealing with his food allergies since he was 14 months old, and he has outgrown them? I am in denial I guess. But he is highly allergic to everything outside, so we are starting shots after the new year. That should be fun. We are thankful though that God has healed him.

The Holidays: We have been on the road. We drove 5 hours to Shreveport, spent the night, and went 9 more hours (with three stops) to Birmingham, AL, and stayed in a lake house with a total of 26 of Jason's family members. It was really fun. We only see most of them every two years, and I really enjoy being with them. His cousins (4 girls) and I really get along, and we enjoy all of their husbands. There were 8 kids from 2 months up to 11 years old. But they were all well behaved considering. Campbell was passed around from person to person, but he did really well. Lots of card playing, some fishing, hiking, shopping, and lots of cooking. We had a church service on Sunday morning. My brother-in-law Bryan played his guitar and led us in some songs, and Jason gave the message, about 5 minutes, maybe. And we prayed together. It was really special. Of course that is when Campbell decided to fuss, so I missed most of the prayer time. I am very thankful for my in-laws and the Christian legacy they have made. Among the 9 families, there are 6 ministers I think.

Now we are back in Shreveport for a few days. Its amazing how different our families are, both good, just very different. We'll be back to the grind next week, and we'll have to detox the kids from sweets, going to bed late, and being held all day. Hopefully I will get a minute to reflect and see if there is anything I need to work on this year. All in all life is really good right now, but I'm sure I can change a few things.

Since I'm on high speed, here are some pictures. Merry Christmas and Have a blessed New Year!

Update

Sorry, I just realized I never said how Cooper's testing went. I guess because there wasn't much to report. When the nurse came in to start the tests, she only had about 30 little stick things, and so I asked her if that was all. He had 89 last time. And her response was, "Oh, you wanted food testing?". Well, yes. Since that's the only things I can control, and last time he was allergic to everything under the sun, and the point was to see if he outgrew anything! I was a little frustrated. So they only did the 30 and he will have to go back on Monday for more. He did great though, and yes, he is still highly allergic to peanuts. A few things came back negative, which made no sense, so I think they will do them again on Monday. Tomorrow is his 7th birthday. My big baby is 7. My goodness, how time flies. We are going to the space center. He so wants to be an astronaut now!

SNOW!

You really can't help being in the Christmas spirit when its snowing, in HOUSTON! Its so pretty! If it wasn't so cold, I would go stand in it. It wasn't really fun to drive in coming back from Coop's first basketball practice, but it was fun to see Cade's face since he's never seen snow before, that we can remember.

Christmas, part 2

Well, just as soon as I complained about the lack of Christmas spirit in my house, it changed. When I took Cade to school yesterday, his teacher asked me if I knew anyone who would want a 5 ft tree before she gave it to Goodwill. I took it, and when I brought it home, it brought the Christmas spirit with it! Its really cute, big enough to not be a silly little tree, but not so big that it was a big deal to decorate. We turned on Christmas music, put the tree in the living room, the boys moved their ornaments from their little tree to it, we made popcorn strings (we being me) and paper chains and it is really cute. That let me to put the stockings up and even wrap a few presents today. And the nativity set is on the fireplace in its rightful place. So all is well. The guilt of not doing anything for Christmas is gone, and yet, I didn't have to do hardly anything at all.

Campbell had his 4 month check up today, and all is well. 75% head, 75% height and 50% weight. And the doctor told me I am just fine waiting until 6 months to start cereal. I use the excuse that its because of food allergies, but really, its out of laziness. Once you start the cereal, you can't stop the feeding of food for the rest of their lives. Might as well put it off for two more months!

Speaking of, Cooper has a round of allergy testing tomorrow. He hasn't been tested for three years. I am a little nervous, mostly about the process, not the results. He doesn't remember the torture of the last time, which is good, but he doesn't know what to expect, and we don't want to scare him. You can read my very first blog to hear about the last time. God taught me some mightly lessons. I'll let you know how it goes this time. I'm just fine if God doesn't need me to learn anything.

Christmas...

Usually I am all about Christmas, decorating my house from top to bottom. But this year, if you want to see my Christmas tree, you'll have to look at the blogs from last year because there is no tree. Well, there is a 3 foot tree that the boys decorated in the playroom, and that is it. I have told people that having the third child hasn't been that hard, but apparently, it is harder than I was admitting because I am so tired, and the thought of getting everything out of the attic and unpacking it, putting it up, enjoying it for two weeks, and then packing it all back up again, is just too much. I have the box of stockings sitting in the floor by the front door, and there it has been sitting for 4 days now. I guess making a bigger mess of my house than it is already in does not sound appealing. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying buying gifts and listening to Christmas music, and loving the homemade ornaments my boys are bringing home. And they were both wonderful in their choir programs Sunday night, but I guess I'm trying to keep it simple. Christmas isn't about the tree and lights anyway, right? Of course, if I want to remind the children about Jesus, I should probably actually set up the nativity scene I got out of the attic. Last year we started a new tradition of taking Mary and Joseph and putting them upstairs and everyday they slowly make their way to the living room where the stable is. They haven't started their journey yet. It may only take them a few days to make it to Bethlehem!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday, I won't say how old she is. I am so thankful for her. She has been through so much, but she hasn't let it get her down, she just gets right back up and tries something new. She prays for me and my family daily, I know because she sends me the verse she prayed over us. She is going back to school to get her doctorate, a very admirable thing. She takes care of her dad and step mom who both have Alzheimer's, very draining. We have had to get used to a new relationship now that I am a mom, and sometimes when she is in my house, it causes a little strife, but we work through it and are patient and forgive each other. I would guess that she is the happiest she has ever been right now. And what a great birthday gift is that! Happy Birthday Mom!

Prayer

I accepted Christ when I was 8, and have enjoyed a pretty great spiritual walk since then. God has gotten a hold of me a few times before I went too far down the wrong path, and used a few really tough times to help grow my relationship with Him. But the one thing in my spiritual life I have never been good at or really even enjoyed was my prayer life. I have tried off and on to get better, but to no avail. And now with three kids, well, you know, its just tough to spend that quality time with God. Yes, if I would get off the computer and turn off the tv I would have time. So, its not really the kids fault.
Anyway, we just finished a 6 week study at church on prayer, and it caught my attention enough to actually buy the book it was based on (thanks mom). Prayer, Does it Really Make a Difference?, by Philip Yancy. I highly recommend it. He really helps to answer all the questions and struggles I have had with prayer, like, if God already knows everything, why do I need to pray? And if He already has the plan, is my prayer going to change anything? I am only a little ways thru, and it has really encouraged me to start making the effort to pray. I'm not there yet. But the past two days I have taken a few minutes to really pray for my boys and Jason. For that, I have used The Power of a Praying Parent, and Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian. Highly recommend those too. So I figure if I blog about it, it will hold me somewhat accountable to keep it up. Between 3-4 everyday, I'm kind of tired and there is nothing on tv, so that's the time I have prayed and read more in my book, and I will try to keep it up. And I will try to blog some about what the book is teaching me. I may have to read it a few times to get it all. Today's chapter was about looking at how Jesus prayed. Its obviously important because even though Jesus knew God knew everything and already had a plan, he totally depended on it daily to survive living on this earth. I want to totally depend on it, but right now, I depend on myself. No wonder I'm tired.

What am I thankful for?

So many things. I am so thankful that our house was ok during the hurricane. I am so thankful for Campbell, that he is healthy and happy and here! I am thankful for my other two boys, that they are smart and kind and helpful and lovable. I am thankful that Cooper learned how to read. I am thankful for my husband, that he works so hard, is a fabulous father, is patient with me, and doesn't expect Martha Stewart. I am thankful for my mini-van. I am thankful for God's Word, that it is alive and always meets my needs, when I take the time to read it. I am thankful that God is patient with me, and waits for me to come to Him and accepts me with open arms, no matter how long its been. I am thankful for my church that is full of people who love the Lord and support us. I am thankful for all of the adults who teach my children. I am thankful we live in a country where we are free to worship together. I am thankful for my family, and even though they are strange at times, they love me and my children and would do anything for us. I am so thankful for my in-laws, who love and adore me and my children and pray for us! I am thankful for my mom who prays for me daily. I am thankful for TV, coffee, my bed, Sonic, my computer, books, mexican food and chocolate. Happy Thanksgiving!

Campbell's first sickness

Well, we made it 3 1/2 months before getting sick. He just has a little cold, but as many of you may have experienced, when the baby gets the phlegm down in their tummys, sometimes it comes back up after they eat. So I have been the recipient of projectile vomiting twice today. Fun, fun. We are at my mom's, so I least I have some reinforcement and support.

Astronaut Shane emailed Jason today, from space! How cool is that! And he sent a picture of himself with the Addison Road CD floating next to him. So cool!

Christy's Picks of the Week- I bought the new Jeremy Camp CD that came out today, and the Casting Crowns Christmas CD today for $7.99 each because I am a preferred customer at Lifeway. I am not quite sure why I am a preferred customer, I don't spend that much there and I'm sure they have forgotten that I endured working there from 93-95 and again in 99. I do think I deserve the title of preferred customer. Anyway, both of the CD's are great! I highly recommend them. Break out the Christmas music!