What is my part in the kingdom?

Its been one of those weeks where God has been talking to me about something through lots of different places other than the Bible. Only, I don't know what He's trying to tell me, if that makes any sense. So here is the message I've been getting and I would really like some opinions from other people if you have a minute to comment.

1. A few weeks ago I read this in One Month to Live, by Kerry Shook. "We're designed by our Creator to fulfill a vital purpose that no one else can accomplish but us." (pg 188). I wrote in the margins "WHAT?!" My immediate thought was that wasn't right! Somewhere in my life I was taught that yes, we are all made for a purpose, but if we choose to disobey that, God can find someone else to do it for Him. He doesn't NEED us, we are just privileged to join Him in His work, and if we choose not to, its our loss. So that had been in the back of my mind for awhile.

2. This past Sunday, Steve was preaching about Abraham, and asked the question, what would have happened if he had failed the test sacrificing Isaac? What if he had said, "No Lord, I'm not doing it!" Would God have not fulfilled his end of the covenant, therefore not giving Abraham descendants as many as the sands, therefore there would have been no tribe of Judah, therefore there would have been no lion from the tribe of Judah to save the world. Would Jesus have not come to earth if Abraham had said no? I wrote, "When we are obedient, our obedience may affect people for eternity." That's heavy.

3. I got two new CD's yesterday (that's another post), and one line from my favorite song on Josh Wilson's CD says, "I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself." So, does that mean that someone else could do my job for me?

4. I was writing a preschool lesson today on Esther, and reread this verse, "If you keep silent at this time, liberation and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father's house will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to the kingdom for such a time is this." Esther 5:14. So, according to Mordecai, someone else could have saved the Jewish people, she just would have missed out on the opportunity to be a part of the story. But, what if it really was only up to her? Would there be no Jewish people if Esther had not been courageous?

If you read all of that together, its confusing to me. Is my part in His story really only for me? It kind of feels like a lot of pressure on little old, sinful me to have that much impact on the kingdom. I finally decided that it really doesn't matter what is the answer. If I am just obedient all the time, then I won't have to worry about what happens if I'm not. That led me to this sweet blog post from Amanda, who has been in Haiti one month. She says, "The only way to really know him in the most intimate way that I can is to ALWAYS say yes to his invitation for me, even when all I can see is a big scary blazing fire. His cradling presence is only accessible through risking it all in obedience to Him. In obedience to Him you find Him to be closer than you could have ever imagined." So I would be a fool to disobey, no matter how it affects other people. Its a huge loss for myself too. Thoughts?