I told my boys today I couldn't decide if they were more whiny today or I was more sensitive to it today since I had higher expectations since it was Mother's Day. Why do I have high expectations of how they should act on special occasions? They are boys.
Anyway, it was a rough morning getting ready for church. Jason leaves before we even get up, and most mornings it doesn't bother me. Its been like that since the boys were little and I'm used to it. But Mother's Day, it stings a little. No breakfast in bed for me. Instead the never ending battle of getting three boys ready for church and myself. Why are Sunday mornings harder than school mornings? Satan?
So by the time we got to church, a few minutes later than I wanted, I had already yelled more than once, one child had grabbed his shoes to put on the car (which I had told him way earlier to get them on) and realized he grabbed his cleats so we had to go back, and I was not in a good mood!
When I get to church, I am trying really hard to do a quick fix on my attitude. Worshipping helps a lot. One of our last songs we sang was "Oh How He Loves Us" by David Crowder. Sometimes I don't like singing that song because I feel like I'm singing about myself instead of worshipping God, but I needed it today. I felt like such a bad mom, selfish, impatient, grumpy. A bad mom, a bad wife, a bad pastor's wife, etc, etc. As we were singing, I felt his sweet spirit say to me, "I love you Christy, not because you are a mom, not because you are a wife, or a preschool teacher, or a pastor's wife, but because you are my child. I love you because of who you are to me, no matter how you feel about yourself." Oh I needed that word today.
The day didn't get much better. Still a lot of whiny children, and tonight Campbell was swinging outside and I was talking to my mom and ran inside for 2 seconds to check my calendar, and I heard crying. He fell out of the swing and busted his lip open. Talk about feeling like a bad mom. FAILURE! But God quickly reminded me that He loves me anyway. And my friend Mandy brought me Starbucks. That helped too! Happy Mother's Day everyone! Remember that God loves you for who you are, not just because you are a good mom. Thank goodness!