My new favorite website...

Or maybe its another pick of the week. Anyway, my favorite show on the Food Network is Ace of Cakes. LOVE IT! They crack me up. So I was bored tonight and went on the charmcitycakes.com website. Amazing. You can see all their cakes, they are just as funny on the website as the show, and they tell you details about ordering cakes, which I will never do. Besides the small fact they they do not ship, the minimum price no matter how small the cake is, is $500! Mary Alice has a blog on there where she talks about what is going on, and that is so cool. She is one of those people that if you saw them on the street, you just know they would know you personally because of how they just seem to join you in your home when you are watching the show. Check it out!

Once a month Wal-mart trip

I was going to just add to the comments on my post where I said I go to Walmart once a month, but its too much. So I thought I would post how I can only go once a month. First of all, its not because I just want to, or am trying to avoid the place. Its financial reasons. Once we pay our mortgage, there is not much left, so I need to do the majority of the shopping on the paycheck where we don't pay mortgage. So I made a list of about 99% of the things that we buy, in order of where they are in the store. I keep the list on the fridge and check them off throughout the month when we need them. Then I make a list of about 20 meals a few days before I go, and add that stuff to the list. It takes me a couple of days to double check the list, make my menu and organize my coupons, but its worth it. On that other paycheck, I might go buy milk, orange juice and produce, if we need it. But I try to buy more than one milk and freeze the extra (we don't drink much milk) and buy a few loaves of bread and freeze it. We do have an extra fridge in the garage, otherwise I wouldn't have room for it all. It takes me two to three hours, so I wear my Ipod and just try to enjoy myself. I really haven't decided if coupons are worth it. I do save money, but it takes me longer to figure out if its a good deal to use them or just buy a cheaper brand. I also have to run to Krogers once or twice a month to buy the organic stuff that Cooper eats because, although Walmart is getting better about having organic, they do not have organic pop tarts yet, which he would eat two boxes of a week if I let him. So that's how I do it. It has positives and negatives, but we are making it work. I wish Jason would go with me one day because I don't think he gets it. Oh, you also have to figure out the best time to go. Don't go on the weekends or Monday morning, there is nothing there. It is picked over. And I don't go at night, much busier and I don't feel as safe. So right now I go on Wednesday mornings. Sunday mornings are very quiet if you are skipping church, but again, its kind of picked over. (That is the best time to get pictures taken with Santa and the Easter Bunny, Sunday mornings! Yes, the ministers wife has skipped church to get pictures taken, I think one of my kids was sick, I had a legitimate reason... I think.)

Christy's Pick of the Week 3/What God is Talking to me About

Pick of the Week- Casting Crowns The Alter and The Door
We saw Casting Crowns on Friday night in concert, SO GOOD! Very worshipful, very convicting. Their newest CD is very good. When I listen to the lyrics that Mark Hall has written, I get an understanding of how the Bible was written. Only God sending those lyrics down to a man who is really listening could explain his songs. They are deep, very blunt, and very honest. So, in the middle of the concert, I was reminded of one of the sermons that I heard at the Fusion conference a while back by Voddie Baucham. He reminded us that the gospel is not about us. We, especially Americans, are very narcissistic, we think that the gospel revolves around us. We look at the Bible like a yearbook, looking for things about us. He said that if the gospel was about us, then when we became a Christian, Jesus could come back. Obviously, He didn't. We sang a song in church last Sunday that Voddie referenced, "Above All". Lovely line in the chorus "On the cross, He thought of me, Above All". NO HE DIDN'T. He did think of the nations that He wanted to save. Jesus came to save the nations, the world, not just me. The great commission says to go out into all the world, and when you see who Jesus was talking to, all the world includes America. We aren't the center of Christianity!
I'll get off my soap box about that. Crowns sang a song off their last album that added to those thoughts, "I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, you catch me when I'm falling, you told me who I am. I am yours." So, God has been telling me, most importantly its not about me, because I am very prideful and selfish. But also, He does care about me, even the little things that I don't bring to Him because I think I am big enough to take care of it by myself. I am so small in the context of what God is doing. Mark Hall said, "God doesn't need us. But He does want us." We are privileged to serve a great God. And we need to get off ourselves (I'm talking to myself) and see where He is working and join Him. So much to think about.

Rough week

I have had a rough week, if I can complain for a second. Ok, really it hasn't been that bad at all. I have just been tired I guess and had no patience, and that makes everything seem a little worse when you have preschoolers. I can't even complain now that I'm trying. It all seems silly. Tuesday my babies were wacked out! It was the hardest day of the year so far. And when I vented to my assistant director, she said I was the fourth teacher to say how bad the day was. We decided that a cold front had moved in, and believe it or not that makes a difference, as does a full moon. Wednesday I did my monthly shopping at Wal-mart. Yes, I only go grocery shopping once a month, or at least 90% of it. It took me three hours, but I had my Ipod on (see my pick of the week 2) so that helped. But it still took a lot of physical and mental energy. Men would probably think that was silly, but women understand my pain! I'm sure there are some men who grocery shop, but none that read my blog. When I got home I realized that the cashier had not done a few of my precious coupons correctly and had jipped me out of at least $6! Irritating! Focus on the good stuff Christy! Focus on the good stuff! Monday was good. We have started some community groups and I had my first one Monday night. I had two ladies, but we had a good time together and this coming Monday promises to have some more attendees. Tomorrow night we are going to see Casting Crowns in concert with some good friends! Looking really forward to that! None of my children are sick. My husband was not out of town. And we have electricity, hot running water, air conditioning, and the money to buy groceries! So all in all, I guess it was a good week. Its all in how you look at it, right?

Christy's Pick of the Week 2

David Crowder Band, Remedy. So much fun! There is nothing better than putting in a worship CD in the car, turning it way up, and hearing your preschoolers sing from the backseat. And this is the perfect CD for that! It is also great to put on your Ipod and use it to make house cleaning and exercising more fun. Its hard to be in a bad mood when you are singing about how we are here for God to get glory and He is "Everything Glorious"! Another favorite, "Never Let Go", is certainly a remedy for those days when things are really tough. My only complaint about it is that there isn't enough of it! Only 10 songs, and two of them are older. The really different thing about Crowder is all of the cool sound effects in the background of his songs, you have no doubt its him. I highly recommend it! Enjoy it turned way up!
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=cd8432&event=1002NR#curr

Christy's Pick of the Week!

A new addition to my blog, I will post my pick of the week, hopefully every week! Either a book, music, a tv show or movie, or something special for the preschoolers we all love and adore. I had a hard time deciding what should be first, but I just finished reading this book to my boys, and Cooper and I really enjoyed it. Its called The Genesis of it All, by Luci Shaw. It is a beautiful description of the way that God created the world and the artwork is amazing! The two artists who illustrated it are members of The Community of Jesus, a monastic community in Orleans, MA, in the Benedictine tradition. Here is a small example of the thought-provoking and uplifting poetry. "Something was missing. In all the sea or sky or dry land God hadn't yet breathed into being any creatures to be friends with, with God's own ways of creating, and loving, and thinking, and feeling, and acting out the thoughts and the feelings." One question is raised in my mind, which has caused me to think about how big our God is. It says more than once that the job wasn't easy, creating the world. And I asked myself how easy it was for God? He spoke it into being, breathed His breath of life and it was there. Sounds easy to me! All and all I would highly recommend this book, I think the adults in your home will enjoy it as much or more than your children. I found it in the children's section of our great library. Enjoy!

I tried for 20 minutes to get a picture of it on here, couldn't do it. Any ideas? If you want to see it, here is a link to my library page. http://catalog.hcpl.net/ipac20/ipac.jsp?session=119DU61171K01.75666&menu=search&aspect=subtab13&npp=10&ipp=20&spp=20&profile=webcat&ri=&term=&index=.GH&aspect=subtab13&term=Genesis&index=.TH&term=shaw&index=.AH&term=&index=.SH&x=6&y=13

How do planes stay in the air?

I have always wondered that. I mean, people have explained it to me sometime in my life, but it just doesn't make sense. This weekend was the Wings Over Houston air show, which takes place about 2 miles from our house. So we get a great view from our front and back yards. I am not really a "planey" (I just made that up, I figure if people who are really in to food are "foodies" then people who are really into planes are "planies")I don't care what kind they are or how old they are or how fast they go. However, when a group of nine planes flies over your house so close together, you just have to be in awe. I didn't get much done this weekend because every time I heard a plane coming, I ran outside. Sometimes my family would join me, but they weren't into it as much as I was. The jets would buzz our house and it would hurt our ears they were so loud! It was awesome! On Saturday I tried to take a bunch of pictures, but then I realized I was missing out on the awe of it trying to keep the camera on the plane. I knew there had to be some kind of spiritual lesson in that, and I came up with one. Sometimes we are so focused on trying to see the details of what God is doing in our lives, that we miss out on the awesomeness of the big picture! So Sunday afternoon, I got out in our tree house by myself and was blessed with the most awesome sight of the nine Canadian Snow Birds flying over, twice, closer then they had been all weekend. I felt like I could reach up and touch them. Is was so incredible! Next year, you can come watch from our backyard if you want.

Great Saturday...

For the first time in probably a month we had no one at our house this weekend, and nothing major going on. It was a great day. Cooper had a soccer game this morning, scored 4 or 5 goals I think (they don't keep score and I was distracted trying to keep Cade occupied). Jason and I trimmed our bushes. Real fun. The funny part to me was that Jason wouldn't allow me to trim the bushes with the electric trimmer because I have cut two extension cords cutting before. And not five minutes after I had asked him if I could and got the no, he cut the extension cord! I was a good wife and didn't laugh or point fingers or say I told you so, although blogging about it is probably just as bad! While we were trimming the bushes, the boys were supposed to be cleaning up the play room. I gave them 30 minutes, and what was left out was going in a trash bag. Needless to say I had a very large trash bag full of stuff and two crying boys to deal with. They will get the stuff back in a week, although I could probably get rid of it and they wouldn't notice. Maybe the Wonder Woman and Batman figures would be missed.

Then I took a great shower and watched tv for two hours (there is the proof I watch entirely too much tv, nothing was even on). Then I cooked dinner, cleaned up after it and just put some banana bread in the oven. I feel like a good mom when I bake, I don't know why. Of course, now I am blogging while my boys are running and throwing toys at each other. So much for the good mom thing. Bath time! That is a great occupier of time!

Noah's Ark

I took a class in Seminary about the first half of Genesis, and when we discussed the story of Noah and the ark, my professor made a point that I have thought about ever since. He pointed out how so many people use Noah's ark as a theme for the baby's nursery, and yet the story of Noah and the ark is not a pretty one. The man was commanded to build an ark in order to save his family from a catestrophic flood! Who knows how many people and animals, hundreds of thousands maybe, drowned! And Noah and his family were trapped on this boat with only each other and the stinky animals for months and months! Can you imagine the smell, the noise and the fact that there is no one else to talk to but your family and animals? But then we get to the rainbow. God created the rainbow as a sign of his covenant to his people to never again destroy the earth with a flood, although I'm sure there have been many times he has regretted that promise. I am trying to imagine what Noah and his family thought when they saw the rainbow, what a beautiful sight after such a long, dreadful time on the boat.
I say all of that to prep you for what I saw a few weeks ago. My mom and step-dad came down to Galveston to stay at a friend's beach house, so after school the boys and I drove down and hung out for the evening. We were playing on the beach, and looked up and there was a rainbow. The boys were really excited. I don't think Cade had ever seen one before, or if he had he wasn't aware enough to know what it was. He was so excited to see one after learning how to draw pictures of one. This was the day that then tropical storm Humberto was coming in, so the skies were cloudy and it was really humid. My parents left the next morning to go back home to avoid the hurricane. So the next night I was driving to church with the boys for meetings, worried that we were going to get caught in the storm coming in. And we looked up and saw another rainbow! And this one was the entire arch, huge, across the entire sky. I could even see a faint one above the main one. The boys couldn't believe it and neither could I. I can't remember in my life when I saw two rainbows in one week. Jason had to rain on my party be telling me the summer he spent in New Mexico he saw one almost every day. I was in awe, really I was. I had just started my first week of my Beth Moore study at church, and we were reading about Noah, getting some prep work done for the rest of the study. And I just really understood the importance of those rainbows, maybe for the first time in my life. They are a sign of a covenant with God and his people. Scientists might say they are caused by the sun light hitting moisture in the air, or whatever they say, but we know that God made the rainbow as a personal message for us! It hit me that rainbows come during or after a storm. And I think God wants to remind us that He is still with us in the midst of the storms in our lives, and that HE ALWAYS FULFILLS HIS PROMISES! What a gift! No matter what we do or say or complain about, just like the Israelites, He will never go back on His promises to us! And just like Noah, when we feel like we are stuck on a boat with stinky people and animals and there is not an end in sight (I have been there!), we know that God take care of us, and has a plan for us! So next time you see a rainbow, really think about what it is! It will make your day!!!

My tv habits...

I watch entirely too much tv. I am trying to cut back. But in the meantime, yeah Kim from Design Star! And yeah Dancing with the Stars is back. I really like the race car driver and the Cheetah girl, and felt really sorry for Wayne Newton. And as a Mavs fan I tried to root for Mark Cubin, but there aren't a lot of sports fans watching I'm afraid. He's not going to last long I predict.

Update on Family

We are great, today. Cooper's honeymoon is over with kindergarten. Not to thrilled about going anymore, missed two days week before last with an ear infection, really tired and grumpy when he gets home. Loving playing soccer, Jason is the assistant coach. Cade loves his teachers, loves going to school, but is going through some phase at home where he is getting way more spankings then he used to. Jason went on a vacation by himself last week to play golf, came back inspired to do some things at church, so that was good. He's really busy as usual.


I am starting to enjoy my baby class. The main one that was crying the first three weeks came in smiling yesterday, so that was exciting. Even though its not my passion, I am finding some enjoyable moments that I cling to. And that makes me excited to get up in the morning. There is one little boy, 10 months old, but so smart. When we do music on Tuesday mornings, he shakes this egg and just jams out with it. I wish I had video of it, it would bring a smile to your face. I am leading a Beth Moore study on Sunday nights, and that is making me accountable to get into the word. I did it first thing this morning and it just made my day so much better. The big thing for us right now is that our church is starting a new ministry for young adults, something much different than our church is used to. We are starting some small groups next month, I am leading a ladies one, and then hopefully in Jan. we will bring the groups together for a worship time one Sunday night a month to start with. Its not different from what a lot of young, exciting churches are doing, but its different for us and this area! I had a contractor come this week to look at my kitchen, waiting for his bid, and it turns out he's done a lot of work at our church, so that's good. My good friend Sarah (Tandberg Belisle)who currently lives 20 minutes from me is moving to Georgia. I am not happy about that, but its obviously God's will, so I will cheer her on! I got a great haircut today, and bought a fabulous iron picture for above my fireplace for 24.99 at Marshalls a few weeks ago. And I think that is about it... that's what happens when I don't update for awhile. I will do better.

Inspiring Weekend

Its been awhile! I got into a routine and didn't build in time to blog. But I had a wonderful inspiring weekend the last weekend, and I am going to try to blog much more often, even if there isn't much to talk about. Jason and I went with some other people from our church to Dallas to the Fusion Now conference. Its geared to 20s and 30s, teaching them how to merge their faith and life together, encouraging them to use their gifts, talents, and time to make a difference in the world around them. We heard Donald Miller, author of "Blue Like Jazz" and other books. I highly recommend that particular book, very thought provoking. And Jason was actually in youth group with Donald and knows who he refers to in many of his stories. http://www.donaldmillerwords.com/

Donald talked about how our lives are stories. A great story includes a lead character, and objective or goal, conflict and a resolution. In our stories, we are the lead character obviously. But what kind of lead character are we, a hero or a villain? A hero will never think of himself as better than other people. As soon as he does, he becomes a villain. What is our objective or goal in life? People wouldn't want to read a story about someone whose main goal in life is to buy a certain car. We want something we can root for. He said to know what someones goal or passion is, is to ask if they die, what dies with them? What is our conflict in life? God invented conflict. He let Adam be lonely for awhile so he would appreciate Eve. He let the Israelites struggle leaving Egypt and wandering in the desert so they would appreciate God. Some conflict we bring on ourselves as a consequence of our sin. But a lot of conflict is God's way of teaching us, or growing us. Our lives and our stories would be boring without some kind of conflict. And the resolution... our lives are all about the journey. The point of our story is how we changed through the conflict. That's what makes a good story. He used the story of Joseph to illustrate all of this. The true story of Joseph, which coincidentally I have been studying in Sunday School, is a wonderful story because of his goal of fulfilling his childhood dream, his struggles and conflict because of his brothers and other people, and the resolution is amazing, not only where he ends up, but the kind of person he has become because of his conflict. Great sermon. That was just Friday night! There are two more sermons I will post about another day.

The really inspiring part was a side session I went to with Margaret Feinburg I think. She has written some books, one called the "Organic God", which I want to read someday so I will tell you how it is. http://www.margaretfeinberg.com Her session was on how to get published. Some of you might know that I enjoy writing, and have secret dreams of writing a book someday. The main point she made that inspired me was to write an hour a day, even when you don't feel like it. Hence, why I will try to blog more often, about deeper things than just my three year old pooping in the potty! I actually was given an invitation about a month ago to submit some samples to see if I could write some curriculum for the Sunday School material that we are using at our church, put out by Student Life. But I have not had time since to even fill out the application! So I don't know if this is my time of life to do that specifically, but I do need to write more often, just to keep my brain and creativity active. Hopefully you will enjoy reading some deeper things, but I will continue to update you on the family.

Oh, the worship band at the conference was Addison Road. They did worship for us at FBC Richardson for two years, and they are so awesome now. They are working on an album with the same label as Mercy Me which will be out in Feb. Start listening for them on the radio in November. They are excellent! It was really good to see them again. We are some of their groupies! http://www.addisonroad.com/

Random Things

Cade started preschool today, had 5 accidents. None of them in the actual classroom, all for me and Jason. Stress? This is Cade about to go into school. He is carrying a duster I use to tickle the babies with. And of course, his juice cup, which he never leaves empty, hence the reason he has so many accidents.

Cooper is having a wonderful kindergarten experience!

I started teaching today, had 4 babies, but will have 7 soon. It was ok, but I realized again, this is not my passion. But God put me there, so I have to make the best of it and pray for a good attitude. (Sorry Melissa! I'm trying)

Ok, funny thing. I have now watched every episode of "Law and Order" way too many times, and "Gilmore Girls" is over, although I still watch reruns in the afternoon. So, I have started watching "Murder She Wrote". Jason is making such fun of me, says I'm a old lady. Ok, maybe I am if the commercials that air during tv shows say anything about the audience. There is the hoveround wheelchair, the "I've fallen and can't get up" button you wear around your neck (or now there is a fancy bracelet model). And lots of life insurance and medicaid commercials! So does that mean I'm old? Its always been humerous to me how many murders Jessica Fletcher has solved. I mean, if I came across her in person, I would run! Someone dies every where she goes! I can remember going to my step-grandparents house on Saturday nights for steak when I was a kid, and after dinner watching "Murder She Wrote" when it wasn't in reruns, and being bored. How things change.

I am watching Design Star on HGTV. If I break down and actually vote, I will vote for Kim. Can't wait for Dancing with the Stars to start back! Does that make me old too?

Tomorrow is my first day with both the boys in school and me home by myself! Can't wait! I'm going to exercise for the first time in three months and then go to Home Depot and get ideas for our kitchen remodel. So excited!!!!!

Day Two

He didn't make up his bed today. He said it took up too much time yesterday. :)

I had told him that we would drop him off from now on, instead of walking him inside. He told Jason last night he was scared to be dropped off. What if he couldn't open the doors and was stuck outside all day by himself? Needless to say, Dad walked him inside this morning. And he said the doors were opened! Yeah!

1st day of Kindergarden!

We had a great day! We found out last week that Cooper got Mrs. Kinsey, the teacher we wanted! She is a member of our church and that gives us a peace of mind. That may get awkward as he gets older, but for this year, its very comforting. So today we got up early, he made his bed (without asking)ate his pop tart in the car on the way, and we were waiting when the bell rang. He put his bag in his cubby, and walked right in. Mrs. Kinsey told him to come back and give us hugs, so he did. But then he was right back in the class ready to get on with it. Jason and I just looked at each other, like "now what?" It was all very anticlimactic. So off we went to church for the things we needed to do today.
When I picked up him up, he looked so happy, and tired! He's been very grumpy today. But all in all, I couldn't have asked for a better day. God is good. And I handled it all very well. Last night I had a thought. I preach to people how important the preschool years are for building the foundation for your children. Those years are over for him. And me. I hope we did a good job. Part of me thinks we could have done so much more. But if you have met Cooper, you know he is a wonderful child, smart, sweet, polite and caring. So what more could I ask for?

Update on the potty training...

I know you were all waiting in horrible anticipation to see if Cade would eventually go #2 in the potty. Well, on Saturday the 11th, he did! I had to laugh at myself at how excited I was about poop. Jason was outside mowing and we all had to go out in the yard and jump up and down to get his attention to tell him. Crazy people! Today is the 20th, and he has gone a total of 4 times since then. Yes, that's not very much. But I think we are getting better. We've gone two days in a row counting today, so I think we are over the scared hump. One of those times was in the Sea World water park bathroom. You would think he would much rather do it at our house, but no, a nasty public bathroom with wet floors is so much better. For those of you reading this who have no children, I apologize for this post, but those of you with children will completely understand my relief and excitement.

Tropical Storm Erin

Tropical Storm Erin hit Houston on Thursday. If you saw on the news about a grocery store roof collapsing, that was our grocery store that I go to down the street (except for my monthly Walmart trip). Two men were killed, one was the son of our worship pastor's secretary. He was in his mid-twenties, married two years, a really good guy from what I've heard. Depending on which story you read, it was the roof of the loading dock or the roof of a storage building. Either way, you don't expect to go to work one day and not come home. Its been very devastating for people in our church. You can be praying for their family.

On a lighter note, the good news for us is that we weren't in Houston during the storm. The bad news, we were in San Antonio. Not any better of a place to be. We had the brilliant idea to make a quick two day trip to Sea World. We knew we would have rain, but we thought we would all wear our panchos and it would be no big deal. So we left our house before the sun rose (what sun?) and heading to SA, planning to get to Sea World when it opened at 10. Because of a jack-knifed 18 wheeler, we didn't make it until 11:30. We all got in our blue ponchos and I tried to prepare the boys by telling them we were going to pretend to be dolphins. Cooper thought it was fun and was whistling his way through the park. Cade, who doesn't like taking a bath, was not so thrilled. And even though his pancho was a kids size, he was still tripping on it. So Jason ripped it apart trying to make it shorter.

We saw Shamu and then went to have lunch, and while we were trying to decide what to order, they announced they were closing the park. So we stood in the torrential rains in line getting our money back, which we were thankful for, and went to Cracker Barrel for lunch. Our plan was to go to our hotel and check in and then head to the mall. The 20 minute drive to the hotel took an hour and a half! I have seen flooding on tv, with cars sitting in water and stupid people walking through it to get to land. I have now seen that in true life. And more than once, we thought we were going to be the stupid people carrying our children through the flood waters. But the kids slept through the whole thing! I told Jason it was a good illustration of how they trusted their daddy, but he said they just didn't know any better.

So we made it to the hotel, spent the evening at the mall, and headed back to Sea World Friday morning. The weather said it was supposed to rain all day, and it was sprinkling when we arrived, so we bought a new pancho for Cade. Jason commented that since we had spent that money, it wouldn't rain anymore, and sure enough, not a drop the rest of the day. So here are some pictures of our trip. We are so thankful to have gotten home safely. We certainly made some memories!

Oh, Cooper starts kindergarten in one week. I am starting to get emotional!

New Summer Pictures

Cooper and Cade with their cousin Bishop Boutwell. Bishop is the son of my step-brother Stephen and his wife Erica. Stephen plays bass guitar for Joel Engle if any of you have heard him play.


Cooper and Jason with Uncle John. Jason did his first wedding this weekend for Uncle John and our new Aunt Jennifer. For those of you who think you have missed something, John lived with my parents for a couple of years after I was out of the house. He's my surrogate brother. The more the merrier!

My mom bought herself a Wii, and the boys think it is the funnest thing. I have enjoyed a few games of bowling myself. My mom and I stayed up last night and bowled 6 games together. My high was 244, and I became a pro bowler. Its a little addicting!

To have or not to have...

I am debating daily about whether or not we should have a third child. I love babies, love being pregnant, really don't mind childbirth (I think God helps you forget that part), and don't mind nursing. But I really don't want to gain and then try to lose weight again since I've heard its harder when you are older. Don't really want to go through the losing sleep again. I am weeks away from no more diapers. But I feel like there is a hole in our family. I really would like to try one more time for a girl so I can have a relationship like I have with my mom. But what if its another boy. Can I handle the yelling, screaming, throwing, fighting, and wrestling multiplied, or would that happen even if it was a girl. And can I handle three, because there are some days when the screaming is coming from me that I'm not quite sure.

Jason doesn't care one way or the other. But his questions to me were do you just miss having a baby, because if that's it, you'll want another one later, and there are no more after three, so just get over that now. Or do you really want a girl, if so we should just adopt one. If we have another one I want to do it soon because I don't want them too far apart, but if we have another one we have to get a new car because we don't have room for three kids in my camry, but we don't have money right now to get one.

So, do you see my horrible thought process? I think through these thoughts daily! Its driving me crazy! Cooper we just decided on because when its your first you really don't know what you are deciding on, and a month later I was pregnant, and Cade was a wonderful surprise. So I haven't had to make this kind of decision. I tell myself to just pray about it and wait for God's answer, and trust Him. But it isn't working. I was hoping that teaching in the infant class in our preschool would curb my desires, but it only made it worse. Those sweet babies are so cute and I am fairly good with babies. But what if I run out of my good luck and get a child with a not so cute personality? (I have taught some) Or have a child with a disability? I know that sounds very selfish and horrible, but no one can tell me they have never had those thoughts. Or even worse, TWINS! I have a friend at church who decided to have a third and is having twins! TRUST GOD! TRUST GOD! TRUST GOD! Right?

What day is it?

I can remember looking at my summer calendar back in April, and thinking that it looked long and empty, and whatever would we do with all that time. And now, it is about to be August, and this has been the busiest summer I can remember. VBS, visiting grandparents, vacation, preschool conference, sickness, Dallas, and I'm sure I've left out something. We still have Preschool Playdays next week that I am directing, a wedding in Shreveport, a quick trip to San Antonio, and getting ready for kindergarten events. I am tired. And actually ready for school to start back, just to have that routine where everything is the same for two weeks in a row. Yes, I know, in October I will say how bored I am of the routine, but I won't think of that right now.

Oh, I know what I forgot. Potty training. Oh yes, nothing makes all of those things listed above more fun than potty training a three year old boy who really doesn't care that you are in a public place with a bathroom you would rather not use. Or that you just stopped at a restaurant five minutes ago, and now he needs to go. Oh wait, that's the 5 year old boy. The 3 year old boy has brought me to my knees praying that he will be brave enough to do #2 on the potty and stop hiding in closets and behind furniture. The fun adventures of a preschool mom's summer!