Much wiser decisions today...

I walked this morning. Other than my coffee (Sorry, I am not giving that up) I only drank water today. No major sweets, just a few of the new Newtons fruit thins (really good by the way). We had to meet J at McDonalds and I ate a salad, chicken nuggets and water instead of the double cheeseburger, fries and sweet tea I really wanted. I got a lot done today. I set my timer to work around the house and was going to stop at 2:30 to sit down with my Bible. I made the mistake of checking my email first, and almost got sucked into a VBS email. I had to say "no" to something good and worthwhile because it still wasn't as important as my time with Jesus. I had a sweet time reading His word and another book I'm studying. Two baseball games tonight. I did make an unwise choice of eating a hot dog a few minutes ago. Coop got home from his game followed by his first all-star practice and was ravenous. Ate two hot dogs and 1/2 pound of grapes. His hot dog looked really good, so I broke down and ate one. But I have been wearing a pedometer today and as of 10:14 pm I have walked 14,623 steps today! I only walked 1.25 miles this morning so the rest of that is errands this morning, running all over the house and baseball games. I'm sure the fact that the boys played on two different fields on opposite ends of the complex added to that step count, and I had a two year old to keep up with too. So I think the hot dog was ok. It was a turkey hot dog if that makes any difference.

Wisdom vs foolishness

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." Romans 7:15-20

Thank you Paul for putting those thoughts on paper for me. I get so frustrated with myself. I was thinking this morning getting ready for church about what a rough week I had had, physically, emotionally and spritually. I didn't feel good, no motivation, a lack of priorities, took lots of naps, and pity parties (see previous posts). And I realized, HELLO, I haven't sat down and spent any time in the word and prayer. Its my own fault. Believe it or not, the weeks I am really good about spending time with Him, I have more energy, I feel better, I get things done faster, I have motivation to get up and do something, and I do it all with a much better attitude. But the past few weeks I have gotten myself back in a hole of taking a nap or laying down to watch tv in the afternoons to rest instead of using that time to read the Bible and pray. I say its because I have had a rough day and "deserve it". Ridiculous! I know better!

Steve's sermon this morning hit me right on point. He was preaching to the graduating seniors about walking down the path of wisdom instead of foolishness, but of course it fits for everyone. He said at one point that the ability to tell yourself "no" is a mark of wise adulthood (my paraphrase.) The one on the path of the wise knows how to make good decisions and is able to weigh consequences wisely. I got convicted about the being able to say "no" part. Every afternoon when I hit that 2:00 moment of exhaustion I have the choice to sit down and watch tv, or take a nap or spend a minute with my Savior. I know what the consequences are to each choice, but somedays, more days than not lately, I am choosing the path of foolishness and am not able to say "no" to my sinful, selfish self. Yes, there are days when as a mom I do need a quick power nap, but not as often as my flesh would say.

It also goes to the way I eat (now its getting personal). I need to lose 10 pounds. My clothes in my closet do not fit me anymore and there is no magic money tree to go buy more. Each day I say that I'm going to do better, cut back on the sugar, walk, drink water, etc. But I am not able to get over my flesh side and say "no" to myself. So I will get up tomorrow and start afresh, and try again to make wise choices and deny my flesh when the choices are clear. I will seek the Lord and His word for my life.

"For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones." Proverbs 2:6-8

"Indivisible" by Kristen Heitzmann

This book could be categorized as a romance novel, mystery, or psychological thriller. Its a story of hurting hearts and redemptive lives, but wrapped in a package of a quaint Colorado town full of drugs and intrigue. Police Chief Jonah Westfall is trying to fix a broken relationship, take down a drug ring and solve a mystery of disturbing proportions.

I have read a few of Kristen Heitzmann's books and was excited to read a new one, but was slightly disappointed in this one. It took me awhile to get into it because there are so many characters that she introduces at the beginning so it was hard to keep up. This book also had less of a spiritual side then some of her other books. But, once I got into the story it was hard to put down. And the ending was creative and relieving yet dark and sad. I was content with how all the characters I finally got to know finished their stories.

"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"

Follow up to hurt feelings...

Well, hours later I am feeling kind of silly. The more I've thought, prayed and processed with my husband about it, I realized this wasn't something I should have gotten upset about. Just one of those days I guess. But I did gain some sweet things out of it. My husband in his round about way, gave me some sweet compliments. I got lots of wonderful comments on facebook. And considering how many people read the blog post so quickly made me realize I am not alone and it touched the hearts of lots of women. So maybe someone else was dealing with the same issue and got some of God's love and grace out of the verses He showed me. I know to write a popular blog I'm supposed to focus on one issue, but I've always had too many things I wanted to write about ... my kids, my favorite things, recipes, couponing, and spiritual things. But my blog posts about my struggles and the heart of God always get the most readers and comments. And I have a ton of those in my head and journal. Its just a matter of being vulnerable and getting them written up. I'll try harder. Obviously it makes me feel better when people struggle with the same things I do and maybe something God teaches me can help someone else. That's the main thing He taught me today. Its not about me. Or it at least it shouldn't be.

Hurt feelings...

I got my feelings hurt this morning from being left out of something. I'm 36. You would think things like that wouldn't hurt anymore. But it took me right back to 9th grade. A bunch of us girls decided to have a slumber party one night after church. I had to run home and they were supposed to call and tell me where they decided to have it, and I never heard from them. Three hours later, while I'm in bed in tears, my mom tracked one of them down and they had forgotten about me. That felt great. I went anyway and they tried to convince me it wasn't intentional, and I'm sure it wasn't, but it still didn't feel good to be forgotten. Twenty years later, I feel that way again today. I keep trying to tell myself I don't know the whole story and its not intentional, but it still hurts to feel forgotten. And of course the other side of the emotion is feeling silly for having my feelings hurt. I know in my head that I am loved and I have friends and am blessed beyond measure, but it still hurts.

Oh Lord, please speak to me with your words!

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Luke 12:6,7
Thank you Lord that you NEVER forget me.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25,26
Lord, help me to desire you more than anything and to remember that when my flesh and heart fail, like today, you are my strength and portion forever.

"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down... You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing... The Lord is near to all who call on him... He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." Psalm 145:13-19
Father, thank you for being faithful to me even when I am unfaithful. Thank you for being loving to me even when I am unlovable. Thank you for picking me up, for satisfying my deepest needs, for fulling my deepest desires and always hearing me!

That helps some, but I still probably need a good cry today. Don't women need to cry periodically, get some of that junk out, start fresh? Its one of those days ladies.

Book Review - The Hidden Magic of Walt Disney World

The Hidden Magic of Walt Disney World by Susaan Veness is a book full of secrets, fun discoveries, and a reminder to take in every detail of the magical world of Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL. As the mother of a Disney fanatic family, I was so excited to receive and read this book. Not that I could ever be bored at Disney World, but I had begun to take things for granted and begun to lose interest in certain parts of the parks. But this book has renewed my interest and excitement of visiting the greatest place on earth!

Veness goes through each park and points out details that you may just pass right by, or may never have even realized were there! Did you know that if you see a pay phone, you should pick it up and listen? You can hear fun conversations that fit the surroundings that you are in. Or if you see a name on a store, it usually is in honor of an Imagineer because they aren't allowed to put their names on their designs. The next time we go to the parks, I plan on rereading this book and highlighting certain things that I want to take notice of and take the book with me to the parks. I'm so excited to discover all the details that the Disney Imagineers put in the parks that were a part of their creative genius.

The book also includes time lines of each one of the parks, when each ride and attraction came and went. My only criticism of the book is that it was published in 2009, so it is already out of date. I can only hope the author writes and updated edition so I don't miss any of the great information. I highly recommend this book for anyone visiting Disney, but especially people who may think they have been enough, and need a new inspiration to go back.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

My middle child...

Oh, my middle child. I missed getting to blog about Cade on his birthday last month when he turned 7, but better late than never. Out of my three boys, Cade brings me the most joy and the most frustrations. He is passionate, dedicated, stubborn, loving, creative, thoughtful, brilliant, athletic, impatient and very huggable. As I think back, he has matured a lot over the past year, and has tamed his emotional outbursts. I don't know where he got those from. He also used to be very dissatisfied with himself and would get really angry at himself when he messed up something. I guess he's a perfectionist in some ways. But that has been tamed too. He's a leader, but not dominating. If you don't follow him, its ok. He's a good friend to all, but doesn't have a best friend. He's the reason we have a bigger gap between child 2 and 3, but there are days that he and Campbell are best buds even though they are 4 years apart. He's a great big and little brother. I am so thankful for his heart for the Lord, even though he's not a believer yet. I can't wait to see how on fire he is once he really understands God's grace. So to celebrate him, here is a baby picture of him and here is a copy of some things he has been writing lately. He is quite the author!










He wrote this in church a few months ago.
To: God From: Cade
You are great, love, truth, hope, nice and good. You help the weak and strong. You are good to all. You love evryone with all your heart.

These are poems he has written lately.

The Would, Just is Great
On the would thar is... Beutiful evrything. Thars tropicel rain trees, a home for you and me, a big blue sky and a big yellow sun. Things to have that are speshle. Other things are pools, parks, bikes, and a spechuly frends. Books, food, drinks, school, mom, dad, brother, baby and mybe a sister. Someone that loves you, someone that feeds you, and keeps you helthy. This would is just great!!!
(I don't know where he got the sister thing from. He's going to have to pray A LOT harder than that!)

Beutiful, Beutiful, Me
Beutiful, Beutiful, Me. I have dark brown and black eyes. Very black hare. Very small endeed. But you can guess that I am fast. What a beutiful, beutiful me!!

Beutiful All Arond Me
Thar is a loshan on my skin. A big wonderful tree right next to me. Soled snow, white as sheep. The sun has big yellow rays. A comforting house, black and white. A smelling rose, very red. Some dark brown hot coco for the winter. A good family to have. What beutiful things in my life!

This one is hot off the presses, tonight.
Baseball is my Game
Bat, ball, and enything at all!!!
Glove, out, what are you talking about!!!
Hit, swing, what a beem!!!!
Ground, throw go go go!!!

Like I said, he's brilliant! So proud to be his mom!

Quick recommendation

I just haven't had time to blog with VBS and baseball. We had a big VBS rally last night so I will have a little free time over the next week, and hope to post a bunch of things I have running around in my head. But here is just a quick recommendation for a sermon I listened to today. Really good and convicting. Sometimes I need a little conviction to give me a kick in the pants. A great reminder to me that I am a Name bearer for Jesus wherever I go!

Chosen to Carry the Name

Click on Chosen to Carry the Name and then download as an MP3. I'm sure there is a better way technologically for me to do this, but that's the best I can do. I'll be back soon!

Haircuts!

Mother's Day

I told my boys today I couldn't decide if they were more whiny today or I was more sensitive to it today since I had higher expectations since it was Mother's Day. Why do I have high expectations of how they should act on special occasions? They are boys.

Anyway, it was a rough morning getting ready for church. Jason leaves before we even get up, and most mornings it doesn't bother me. Its been like that since the boys were little and I'm used to it. But Mother's Day, it stings a little. No breakfast in bed for me. Instead the never ending battle of getting three boys ready for church and myself. Why are Sunday mornings harder than school mornings? Satan?

So by the time we got to church, a few minutes later than I wanted, I had already yelled more than once, one child had grabbed his shoes to put on the car (which I had told him way earlier to get them on) and realized he grabbed his cleats so we had to go back, and I was not in a good mood!

When I get to church, I am trying really hard to do a quick fix on my attitude. Worshipping helps a lot. One of our last songs we sang was "Oh How He Loves Us" by David Crowder. Sometimes I don't like singing that song because I feel like I'm singing about myself instead of worshipping God, but I needed it today. I felt like such a bad mom, selfish, impatient, grumpy. A bad mom, a bad wife, a bad pastor's wife, etc, etc. As we were singing, I felt his sweet spirit say to me, "I love you Christy, not because you are a mom, not because you are a wife, or a preschool teacher, or a pastor's wife, but because you are my child. I love you because of who you are to me, no matter how you feel about yourself." Oh I needed that word today.

The day didn't get much better. Still a lot of whiny children, and tonight Campbell was swinging outside and I was talking to my mom and ran inside for 2 seconds to check my calendar, and I heard crying. He fell out of the swing and busted his lip open. Talk about feeling like a bad mom. FAILURE! But God quickly reminded me that He loves me anyway. And my friend Mandy brought me Starbucks. That helped too! Happy Mother's Day everyone! Remember that God loves you for who you are, not just because you are a good mom. Thank goodness!

Spiritual battleground... at my local park

I wanted to blog about this anyway and it seems like a good fit with all that is going on tonight. Friday night I took my boys to one of the neighborhood parks, but we went to the one farthest from our house. There were about 10 young men playing basketball there. They took a water break and I began to hear two of them having a spiritual conversation. At first I couldn't hear the conversation enough to know what they were talking about, but I could tell one was speaking more defensively and one was speaking more peacefully. I began to pray for them that whatever truth was being spoken would be clear and concise and wise. I then started to hear one of them quoting all kinds of scriptures, chapter and verse, but using them out of context. He was asking the other man how Jesus and God could be the same person if Jesus was talking to God on the cross. And how could the gospels be true when the last words of Jesus were different in each book. I felt such a heavy heart for the Christian man who was trying to answer these questions that I began to pace the park and pray for him in particular. I felt a spiritual battle being waged around me. There were three other men listening to this conversation and I wanted them to hear truth. It was getting dark and I had already stayed way longer than I had intended to, and needed to get the boys home. But I wanted the Christian man to know I was praying for him. So I called the boys to leave and as we walked to the car, I went over to the group of men and stood there a second. They stopped and looked at me and I said, "I have been eves dropping and just wanted you to know that I have been praying for you to have truth spoken and clarity and peace in this conversation." I realized at that point that the man on the ground, the defensive one, was holding a Koran. He rolled his eyes at me and kept talking. The Christian man said, "Thank you. We are friends, its ok." I said, "I can tell. You are speaking out of respect for each other. But I just wanted you to know I was praying for you," and patted him on the arm. He looked at me, and I think understanding what I was not saying, said thank you. And I got in the car with the boys. Cooper asked me what I had said and I explained in simple terms. But I was, and am even more now, overwhelmed with the spiritual battle that was going on. That is so not me to go up to strangers like that. I knew God wanted me to and I did. I'm watching all of these people rejoicing on tv, and as much as I know that it is a good day for our country, I wish people would realize that God loves everyone, and there is a spiritual battle going on all around us for the souls of all men.

200th Post!

I realized the other day I was about to hit 200, and I thought that might need a more meaningful post than my favorite things, which I have been working on this week and will post another day. But what to write about that would warrant this momentous occasion? My children, my husband, baseball, my continuous struggle with dishes, laundry and dirty bathrooms? While all of those things would indeed be important since they are important parts of my life, I think I just want to be thankful. I went back to look at my very first post, made on 3/18/06, and I was overwhelmed reading it with thankfulness for my Daddy who has held on to me so tightly the past 5 years. Here is a portion of it.

"We took Cooper a few weeks ago to get retested for his allergies. It was the first time he was able to be skin tested, so Jason sat in a recliner and Cooper sat in his lap, chest to chest, while they did 84 pricks on his back. Not so bad. Cooper did great. But then they had to do 9 shots on his arms and take two viles of blood. Very bad! We were all holding him down while he is crying and screaming at the top of his lungs, "STOP DADDY! STOP!" And he's looking at me with a look I hope no other parent has to see, a look that said, "Why are you letting them do this to me!" It was horrible. So keep that picture in mind...

The next morning I was meeting with a friend and I was telling her how God and I are right now. I love God, I trust Him, I know He has a wonderful plan for me and my family, I know years from now I'll be able to look back and see that plan, and I am excited about it. But right now, I don't like Him much. I really don't want to talk to Him because I'm mad about where we are in the plan right now. And I was wondering if He minds that attitude or not. And while I'm talking to my friend, God hit me with "You are Cooper."

I am being tested (in a sense), but He is holding me chest to chest while I'm crying and screaming and its ok. Jason and I knew the big picture for Cooper, how this testing was going to help him feel better in the long run, but he couldn't understand that. We didn't love him any less for his behavior, we expected it. We didn't expect him to act more mature than he is. We understood why he was hurting and it was ok. And when it was all over we took him for a toy! God told me that its ok for me to be upset. He loves me anyway, He doesn't expect me to act more spiritually mature than I am, He knows I can't see the big picture, and when this is all over He'll bless me with something wonderful. That has been carrying me through the last few weeks. It didn't change the situation we are in, waiting for the next part of God's plan, but it comforts me to know that He is holding me through it. I hope that encourages someone else too."

That just makes me cry reading it. Only a month later did God begin the process of moving us to Houston. Not that everything is perfect here, perfection is only in heaven. But He already knew the next part of His plan for us. He has brought us on another five years of our journey, safely. He has held on to me even when I wanted to run away from Him. He has loved me even when I was unlovable. He gave me another sweet baby boy that I wouldn't trade for anything. He let me rest and heal from my past and now has me more in love with Him and spending time in His Word than I have since college, only now I see it in a whole new mature, mother and wife way. I understand what a parent's love means. I understand in part what deep love Christ has for his bride, the church. I couldn't grasp that when I was reading His word in college. But now when I sit down to read His love letter to me, I understand things in a whole new way. I want to sit at His feet and hear His voice clearly, and I want to learn more and more about His heart.

Two hundred blogs later, there has been a lot in the middle worth sharing, and some not worth the letters typed on the screen. But I am feeling more and more creative and called to share the message of hope that Christ has given me, so stay tuned for more blogs in the future. 201 will be there soon!

A few of my favorite things...

Cinnamon Chex - Had a coupon the other day for it, and it is YUMMY! And gluten free for those who might need that.







Ikea plastic bowls and tumblers for kids! They are the perfect size for little Campbell hands, and the bowls are great for my night time bowl of cereal. And they stack really nice in the cabinets and are pretty colors. And cheap!













This one I'm a little embarrassed of, but I love the newer show on the Disney channel, "Good Luck Charlie." So cute. I love the mom, totally relate, only she's really funny. It does have a little bit of girl/boy dating thing, but not as much as some of the other Disney shows I won't let the boys watch. The boys and I love to watch it together, and I'm not bored to death like their other shows. The little baby Charlie is adorable. Highly recommend it, and yes, I will watch it even when the boys are not around. Its better than the adult sit coms with entirely too many inappropriate jokes!




My All-Stars! For those not following on facebook, Cade's team, that Jason coaches, is 9-0! Cooper's team is... trying really hard, but not having a good season. If you could please be praying for his attitude. Its some hard life lessons to learn so young. He's turning in to a really good pitcher though. I am so proud of them both.

What's in my CD player? #2

Got lots of new CD's in the past few weeks. Some girls like shoes, I like CD's. I never pay more than $10, usually less than that. And yes, I know I could download it all, but I am old fashioned and like having a case with lyrics.


Josh Wilson See You - I have already posted the lyrics of my favorite song on here, "I Refuse", but there are a few other good ones too. It was really on sale at Lifeway one day, and I had heard that song on the radio and wanted it, and am pretty happy with my purchase. My other favorite song is "Know by Now": "Here I go again, Why do I forget, You're always faithful, How many times have I seen you give me just what I need, Here I go again, I forget, You're gonna work it out somehow, You think that I'd know by now."



My newest purchase, Mandisa What if We Were Real - Mandisa makes me thank God for American Idol. She is amazing! I am a fan on facebook and love hearing about her life, how real she is! She has lost 120 lbs in the last year and is a new woman, but her voice is still unbelievable. My favorite song is "The Truth About Me": "If only I could see me as You see me/And understand the way that I am loved/Would it give a whole new meaning to my purpose/Change the way I see the world/Would I sparkle like a star in the night sky/Would I give a little more instead of take
If I understood I'm precious like the diamond/Of a worth no one could estimate/I'm a worth no one could estimate/You say lovely/I say broken/I say guilty/You say forgiven
I feel lonely/You say You're with me/We both know it would change everything/If I only believed the truth about me." Its a beautiful song, but the lyrics speak such truth to me. Highly recommend it!



Jonny Diaz - More Beautiful You. This is actually his older album and he just put out a new one last week. But I really loved the song "More Beautiful You" and I got it really cheap at Lifeway. He's pretty acoustic, and I look forward to hearing his new album too.



Passion - Here for You. Unbelievable worship album! Christy Nockels sang a new song from it at the Chris Tomlin concert in February and I was so excited when it came out last month. My first listen through I knew it was good, but each time I listen, I hear more truth in the lyrics and they settle in my soul, and I find myself singing at the top of my lungs with my hands raised. (One raised, one on the steering wheel.) My have a new favorite everyday, but today its a remake of the hymn "I Need You". Gets me through those tough afternoons of being a mom of three.



Kutless - It is Well I've never been a Kutless fan, but this was on sale on christianbook.com awhile back and I am always on the lookout for good worship, and it fit the bill. Great remakes of some old favorites like "Hungry" and "It is Well", and some good originals like "What Faith Can Do." I'm becoming a Kutless fan!



And I still have Matthew West Story of Your Life. Still one of the best CD's ever. There are a few songs on there that when I'm having a bad day, I can pull them up and it just makes it all ok.

My part, part 3

I haven't blogged in a while, and really shouldn't be right now. I should be working on VBS, or reading my Bible, or matching socks, or since its 9:39, going to bed. I have a lot of blogs in my head, so maybe this weekend I'll knock some out. But here is a real quick update on the obedience journey I'm on.

I went to the Collide young adult retreat this weekend, and Steve preached a series about how we are all ministers. Friday night's talk went right along with all that God has been telling me. We are all made uniquely, with certain talents and gifts. And we are all placed in unique places where no one else is placed. And so when God calls us to do something, then who is to say that if we say no, someone else who is as uniquely made as we are will fill in the gap? If we say no, then chances are, it won't get done. We were made for a purpose and if we don't fulfill it, then no one else will. I told Steve that he just added to my month long series about being obedient. He apologized, but not really.

So I came home from the retreat excited about my task I thought God had placed before me. But, the thing that I was willing to be obedient to didn't happen. I didn't have to follow through. I wasn't needed. That was confusing to me. Did I really hear God call me to this task? I know I did. So I guess it was God just seeing if I was really serious about being obedient. The same day that fell through though, another opportunity presented itself. I accepted the opportunity with kind of a bad attitude, and didn't even realize at first it was a test of obedience. But it is something that is taking me out of my comfort zone, and is putting me somewhere when I would really rather be somewhere else. Again, it wouldn't seem like a big deal to most of you, but I think God is showing me how even the little things take a big amount of obedience, and one day there may be bigger opportunities that I need to be ready for. I'm practicing the act of obedience. Getting better I hope.

If this makes no sense, then that is what happens when I blog when I should be going to bed. I may reread this tomorrow and completely rewrite it.

Dinner Tonight

We weren't going to eat dinner until 7:30 because of baseball, and I was about to give up and make pancakes when I saw this box in my pantry and remembered how easy and good it is. Thought I would share. Romano's Macaroni Grill at Home Chicken Piccata. Yum! Visit their website for a $1 off coupon! http://www.macaronigrillathome.com/products/boxed/

My theme song right now

I know this isn't "Scripture", but with all that God has been teaching me lately, this is still His word to me and I thought I would share the lyrics of my current favorite song.

"I Refuse" by Josh Wilson

Sometimes, I just want to close my eyes and act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not.
This world needs God, but its easier to stand and watch.
I could say a prayer and just move on like nothing's wrong
But I refuse.

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose not to move, But I refuse.

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet of you, Oh God.
So if you say move, it's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do and show them who you are.

To stand and watch the weary and lost cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back and try and act like all is well
I refuse to stay unchanged to wait another day to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse.

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose not to move, But I refuse.

My Part in the Kingdom, Part 2!

God has just not let go of me with this obedience thing. Darn. After that last post about it, I got some great comments. One friend said just that morning she had audibly heard her name and decided that the Lord was about to call her to do something and would she be willing to say yes, and then read my blog. I told her if she said yes, I would say yes.

My mom said its like a big puzzle. If we don't do our part, our piece is missing, but you can still tell what the picture is, we just miss out on our part. I don't want to be a missing puzzle piece.

In chapter 7 of Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver, she talks about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her visit by the angel to hear that she is going to be the mother of the Messiah. She asks how, but only out of pure curiosity, not out of doubt or denial, and she is fully willing to take upon herself such a blessing that comes with so many struggles. She could have faced divorce or even death. Weaver writes: "For I believe God is still looking for willing people through whom He can work His purposes and perform His plans. People who say yes instead of asking how... I wonder, what God could do through you and me if we stop questioning His plan, stop trying to understand, and simply say yes. What new, miraculous work could God accomplish if our world if just one or two of us said, "May it be to me as you have said." pg. 107.

I summarized a lot of this into a devotional I gave to the weekday teachers on Monday. I asked them if they were in the right place physically, like Esther, to be able to say "Yes" to God when he called them. Maybe we don't like the place we are in right now, but God has us there to do a job. Are we willing? And I asked them if they were in the right place spiritually, like Mary, to be able to hear God when He called them. Are we spending time in His word and prayer so when he gives us a task to do we know its Him and we are ready and trusting Him enough to say "Yes" without any questions.

I had a quick conversation with someone yesterday about a book by Lysa Terkeurst that I feel like God is telling me to read, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. My friend said, "Do you find it a little scary that God is dealing with you about saying Yes? I wonder what awesome thing He wants you to say Yes to! It's really cool that you are sensing this."

So all of that, and then today, it happened. I was sitting in a room with 4 sleeping three year olds, and I heard God ask. Not audibly, but I was in the right place physically and spiritually to hear Him. And I said yes. I won't give you details because that's not the point. If I told you, most of you would say its not a big deal anyway. But to me its big. It means giving up some of my "free" time (whatever that really is to a mom of 3), it means messing up my routine, and it won't be easy or always fun. But I said "yes" because I knew immediately that was what God was prepping me for all this time. I did what I needed to do to be obedient and since then I have been struggling, part with peace for being obedient and part with my human flesh sinful nature that wants to be selfish and lazy and question how its going to work out. But I wanted to blog about it so badly, to put out there my gratitude to Him for being so patient with me, my joy in being obedient, my honest struggle with it, and my encouragement to you to be in the right place so you too can say "yes". I'm excited to see where this journey will take me.

I also read today that Lysa Terkeurst will be speaking on "Saying Yes to God" in a few weeks locally. I think I may need to go to that. Anyone want to join me?

Really weird dream about heaven

I had this dream two nights ago and still remember it clearly, which doesn't happen often. Let me preface this by saying I in no way think this is really what will happen on my way to heaven.

Jason and I wake up one morning both feeling like something big is about to happen. Suddenly we hear a really loud roaring, and we know its time to go! The family walks outside and we see hundreds of airplanes flying around. Then we see a HUGE airplane, kind of like a blimp, and it lands like a helicopter. J and I head to get in the plane, leaving the kids with our neighbors. We don't say goodbye, aren't sad. We know they will join us soon. We get in line to get on the plane, get in, get buckled and it takes off and turns into a mix between a train and a roller coaster. We start going up and then it goes straight down. I was scared because it was like a fast roller coaster and I am not a roller coaster fan, not because I thought we were going to hell. The train then pulls into a small village, only one street really with a fork in it, looks like a European village with cobblestone streets. We know this isn't heaven, just a stop along the way, and we know we won't be here long. It feels like the final test for some people to make sure they are ready to go to heaven?

We get out of the train and see a souvenir shop, yes, there are souvenirs for heaven. Although in retrospect, that means you think you are going back to earth. But everyone has to walk through the shop. J and I realize its a test to see how materialistic, greedy, impatient, rude people might be. And they are! They are fighting over things, stealing things. The shop employees are actually rude to you to see how you will respond. So I grab J's hand, and start pulling him through the people. I keep saying, "I just want to see Jesus!". We get separated, so I go outside to wait for him, hoping he's coming and not getting caught up in something. I hear my name and see my Pawpaw. He doesn't look young per se, but he looks 60 instead of 90, and he is standing up straight without his cane. He says, "Hey baby girl," and opens his arms for a hug and I walk over to him, and wake up.

Yep, that's it. Usually when I wake up from weird, sharp, clear dreams, its because I'm scared. But I wasn't scared at all. I felt such peace. I wanted to go back into the dream so I could go see Jesus. Two days later its still with me. Very strange. Don't try to interpret it. I don't think I want to know. But I wanted to share, more to get it out on paper, or whatever this is.

What is my part in the kingdom?

Its been one of those weeks where God has been talking to me about something through lots of different places other than the Bible. Only, I don't know what He's trying to tell me, if that makes any sense. So here is the message I've been getting and I would really like some opinions from other people if you have a minute to comment.

1. A few weeks ago I read this in One Month to Live, by Kerry Shook. "We're designed by our Creator to fulfill a vital purpose that no one else can accomplish but us." (pg 188). I wrote in the margins "WHAT?!" My immediate thought was that wasn't right! Somewhere in my life I was taught that yes, we are all made for a purpose, but if we choose to disobey that, God can find someone else to do it for Him. He doesn't NEED us, we are just privileged to join Him in His work, and if we choose not to, its our loss. So that had been in the back of my mind for awhile.

2. This past Sunday, Steve was preaching about Abraham, and asked the question, what would have happened if he had failed the test sacrificing Isaac? What if he had said, "No Lord, I'm not doing it!" Would God have not fulfilled his end of the covenant, therefore not giving Abraham descendants as many as the sands, therefore there would have been no tribe of Judah, therefore there would have been no lion from the tribe of Judah to save the world. Would Jesus have not come to earth if Abraham had said no? I wrote, "When we are obedient, our obedience may affect people for eternity." That's heavy.

3. I got two new CD's yesterday (that's another post), and one line from my favorite song on Josh Wilson's CD says, "I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself." So, does that mean that someone else could do my job for me?

4. I was writing a preschool lesson today on Esther, and reread this verse, "If you keep silent at this time, liberation and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father's house will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to the kingdom for such a time is this." Esther 5:14. So, according to Mordecai, someone else could have saved the Jewish people, she just would have missed out on the opportunity to be a part of the story. But, what if it really was only up to her? Would there be no Jewish people if Esther had not been courageous?

If you read all of that together, its confusing to me. Is my part in His story really only for me? It kind of feels like a lot of pressure on little old, sinful me to have that much impact on the kingdom. I finally decided that it really doesn't matter what is the answer. If I am just obedient all the time, then I won't have to worry about what happens if I'm not. That led me to this sweet blog post from Amanda, who has been in Haiti one month. She says, "The only way to really know him in the most intimate way that I can is to ALWAYS say yes to his invitation for me, even when all I can see is a big scary blazing fire. His cradling presence is only accessible through risking it all in obedience to Him. In obedience to Him you find Him to be closer than you could have ever imagined." So I would be a fool to disobey, no matter how it affects other people. Its a huge loss for myself too. Thoughts?

Two REALLY GOOD DEALS and two recipes

I got a $25 gift certificate to Fish Place for $3! Just go to www.restaurant.com and put in the promo code SPRING. Lots of restaurants all over to choose from. Special goes until 3/22.

I also got 100 prints from www.snapfish.com for less than $5, special expires tomorrow. Use promo code STPATPRNT. I think it worked out to less than that, minus shipping. I saved more than $9.

I got both of these from joining an email list from www.thefrugalfamilylife.com that a friend recommended to me. So you can join her list too, or I'll promise I'll share the really good ones with you!

Two recipes I used today:

Lunch:
The easiest chili ever:
I used the McCormick chili seasoning packet, add a pound of ground turkey (or beef) and can of diced tomatoes, and a can of red kidney beans. That's it! Twenty minutes until lunch was on the table. I have also tried the white chili too.


Dinner:
Bruschetta Chicken Bake (from Kraft Food and Family Magazine, Winter 2007)
1 can diced tomatoes, undrained
1 pkg. Stuffing Mix for Chicken
1/2 cup water
2 cloves garlic, minced (I use garlic powder)
1 1/2 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
1 tsp. dried basil leaves
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place tomatoes in medium bowl. Add stuffing mix, water and garlic. Stir until just moistened. Set aside. Place chicken in 13x9 inch or other 3 qt. baking dish. Sprinkle with basil and cheese. Top with stuffing mixture. Bake 30 minutes or until chicken is cooked through.

I served with green beans, corn and Pillsbury crescent rolls. (those are my favorite!)

Spring Break Update #2

I don't know that anyone cares about this at all, except my mom. Day 4, we did the rounds of stores simply to entertain. We went to Target, and everyone got something from the dollar spot. We went to Petsmart, really great free, short visit zoo. Campbell loved the cats, dogs and "fishys". Then I crumbled and we went to Toys-R-Us. Cooper really looked. I spent the whole time chasing the other two who were dribbling balls around the store. I was that mom that people look at, "why can't she keep control of her children?" But there was no one there and they got some energy out. I'm sure the store appreciated us spending 30 minutes without buying anything. We also got allergy shots and made a run to church to do some VBS stuff. After lunch and baby down for nap, I made my monthly Walmart run. Saved $17.30 with coupons. It was really packed, and I had a bad attitude for awhile. But when I was putting my food away, I realized how thankful I need to be that we have money to buy food, a store that has food in it and a house to put the food away in, unlike many people in Japan.

Day 5, worked on VBS, cleaned up Cade's room. (He's not my child who is clean and organized) I watched the first movie of the Anne trilogy while I filed our papers. I'm sure to those of you out there who are really good at that stuff, you would be appalled at my filing system, but its done and off my bedroom floor. Washed all the sheets and folding clothes. Tried potty training again, but after changing poopy underwear this morning, I decided that neither of us are ready to potty train. And its my 3rd kid, so I didn't even try to salvage the underwear. Not worth it. Poor Campbell is stir crazy today, "Mama, we go bye-bye?" So we did his second favorite activity, made cupcakes. "I cook Daddy!" He actually seems to really love helping me in the kitchen way more than the other two ever have. Maybe he'll take over the cooking duties when he's older? (Yes, giving him something to do was just an excuse to make cupcakes!)

We've had baseball practice all week, but have tonight and tomorrow off. Its really weird to have nothing to do, but since there are 6 billion basketball games on (my interpretation) the big boys are occupied. That's been our Spring Break. I feel like I got most of my list done, and the boys had some semi fun things to do, and they really never got on my nerves. But I'm glad for school to start back up. I need a break!

Spring Break update

Day one - we cleaned out the boys closets and moved all the clothes around. I still have boxes to go in the attic, but that's huge progress. Cooper needs, well, everything. We tried potty training, but it was really more Mommy training. He stayed dry all day except his diaper at nap time, but that was me taking him potty every 30 minutes. He never asked to go on his own. Campbell and I went to the park while the other two went to basketball with Daddy. That was the fun part of the day.

Day two - We went to a birthday party in the morning, a great fun and free diversion. I cleaned the air purifier, got a new VBS leader and made a dent in the VBS curriculum, which made me feel better. There was no potty training going on. I actually left him in the same diaper from before nap until bedtime thinking maybe, eventually, he would ask to go to the potty or change the diaper. Nope, didn't care one bit. Cade had baseball practice.

Day three - Did some chores this morning (with good attitudes no less.) We took some stuff to the Bay Area Turning Point resale shop and met Daddy at the cool NASA McDonald's, which was packed. The boys played forever on the playground. Cooper has decided he needs to make some money to buy something at the Final Four in two weeks, so he helped me clean out the fridge. He was doing a better job than I was. I'm so thankful I have one child who likes things clean and organized, when he's in the right mood. He then made a list of all the other jobs he could do for some money. We'll see if he does any of them. I tried to teach Cade to tie his shoe, but its nearly impossible to teach him anything when he is tired and distracted. We'll try another day. While Coop and J are at baseball practice, Campbell, Cade and I went to a different park, and now I should be making dinner, but I'm not motivated.

Two days left, and I have made some progress on the list. Its that filing thing that is staring me in the face. Tomorrow I have to go do my monthly grocery shopping trip, so the rest of tonight is making the menu, list and gathering coupons. Maybe the filing will get done on Friday?

Spring Break

Normally we go to my mom's or J's mom's for spring break, and this year could have even gone to VA to see Steph and sweet baby Luke, but we decided to stay home. I am so tired from basketball and baseball overlapping! This house is a disaster and I need some time to chill. The thought of packing a suitcase overwhelmed me. But I do have a very long to do list for this week of projects and also have come up with some ideas of cheap, hopefully fun things for the boys to do. I thought if I shared it all with you then I would be held accountable to get the projects done, but I'm not optimistic of finishing the list.

Projects:
Clean out boys winter clothes and make a list of what Coop needs (the other two just get hand me downs!) and pack up Campbell's stuff and send to my sweet Luke
Work on VBS curriculum
Finish recruiting my VBS leadership team (anyone interested?)
Clean up playroom (my least favorite thing)
Filing papers (oh wait, that's my least favorite)
Potty train Campbell
Teach Cade how to tie his shoes
Sell chocolate for the baseball team (again, anyone interested?)

Fun things:
Visit Petsmart (free zoo, we've tried the real zoo during SB before, WAY too many people)
Visit Target to look at toys (no buying)
Different parks than our local one
McDonalds

I think that's it. I'm not seeing it all get done. But I am going to put in my new Anne of Avonlea DVD's my brother got me for Christmas and that might help get the filing done and the VBS curriculum done. Wish us luck on the potty training. He's been going since he turned two in Aug. when you take him, but he doesn't tell us he has to go. He stays pretty dry at school because he goes when everyone else goes. So we'll see if he's really ready or not. Hopefully he'll be easier then I think. Part of me is so excited to be done with diapers, and part of me is of course sad, because I really won't have a baby anymore. Maybe that's why I've been putting it off. I'll keep you posted.

FYI on the bee hive - it's gone! Completely gone! Don't know where they went, but they moved on. Thank goodness!

Cheap, easy dinner

I've been making this for years and tonight, as my family enjoyed it again, I thought I might should share my quick, easy recipe for chicken fettichini. Ready? I take two packages of the Knorr Pasta Sides Alfredo that you can find next to the mac and cheese, and prepare according to the directions, and then saute two chicken breasts cut into strips and add them to the prepared pasta. Done! It takes about 20 minutes and my family loves it, and it is cheap. Don't tell me how bad packaged meals are for us. Some day that might bother me, but tonight, having dinner ready in 2o minutes and all 4 of my boys gobbling it down, it is worth whatever is in that package!

On to baseball...

Last night was the official ending of basketball season. I haven't commented on it since the blog about not liking it, but it turned out really fun. I only got to see about half of Coop's games because I was at Cade's games, and that was probably good for me. His were less competitive and he was having a blast. Even though his season is over, he's still dribbling all over the house and shooting hoops outside in his free time. Cooper's games were very competitive, and stressful, and exciting! His team ended up 13-0 for the season! They won the season championship which got them a really ugly shiny jacket he probably won't ever wear, and they were the tournament champions which got them a really cool trophy. Cooper made the all-stars, which is not as big a deal as baseball, only one game. And his team lost that game, which was the end of the world for him, not used to losing I guess. I credit it all to the coaching! Jason prides himself on his drafting ability. His team was really good and even better, sweet kids.

I am so thankful that basketball is over though because for the month of February, it overlaps with baseball and it is just tooooo much for us! I am worn out! I'm ready to focus on baseball with all of our time and energy and with a good attitude! (Do I sound convincing?) Cade is playing machine pitch for the Braves, and Jason is his coach this year. I wish he would have a growth spurt soon because when he actually hits it, his little legs can't get him to 1st base fast enough. But he is awesome playing the field. Cooper is now playing kid pitch for the A's. He actually was the starting pitcher tonight for a scrimmage game and did pretty well. It adds another level of stress for me as mom. Please don't walk that batter! Even worse, please don't hit that batter!

Campbell is just along for the ride! He's a trooper hanging out with me at all these games. Some fields and gyms are more conducive for little ones. I was thinking that last year might have been the worst as far as keeping up with him at games, but I may have been wrong. Now he's not as wobbly so I'm not following him every second, but on the flip side, he's more confident in himself and is ready to explore every nook and cranny of those baseball fields, and there's no more strapping him in his stroller. He can find a dirt pile pretty quickly! I'll keep you posted as games start after Spring Break. It should be an exciting season! I still need a baseball mom shirt.

How Do I Find God's Will?

Have you asked yourself that question before? Of course you have. Who hasn't? I read a great answer to it today in Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver, so I thought I would share a summary for you from chapter 4, pages 52-53.

1. "Tune your heart to His voice." When you are spending time in God's Word and in prayer, not just talking to God, but listening to Him, you will more clearly hear His voice in your own thoughts. Something else I got from this chapter was how much I take the Holy Spirit for granted. When I have wise thoughts about something, its not my wisdom or common sense, its the Holy Spirit! And the more in tune I am with Him, the more I will recognize His voice.

2. "Mind the Checks." This is a Quaker phrase that means when we have doubts about something, we should do nothing and wait. God's direction will strengthen in time or simply pass away when we do not get that direction from Him.

3. "Test the Message." We must line up our thought about a decision with scripture. If it doesn't match up, then we know its not the right answer. Godly friends' advice and circumstances will also match up.

4. "Watch for repetition." God will often repeat a message to us from different people, places and events over a period of time. I have experienced this a number of times. Right now, He is constantly telling me about His power and how I'm not taking advantage of it.

5. "Take the next step." We are intended to take a step of faith sometimes. So, take that first step and see what happens. Does the door remain open, or slam in your face!

6. "Beware the Spirit's withdrawal." If we don't feel his answers clearly, maybe we are living in disobedience in another area of our lives. Oswald Chambers said, "God will never reveal more truth... until you obey what you know already."

7. "Ask for and expect wisdom." We should be asking for His help and wisdom in little things so that when we go to Him with the big things, our faith in Him has been built up. "If we don't allow God to direct our everyday lives, we may not be able to follow Him when crisis comes."

I hope that is as helpful to you as it was to me. Of course, it all sounds good now when I'm not actually trying to figure out His will on anything. I wonder if, when I'm faced with a decision, I'll actually use this wisdom, or continue to stress, worry, turn to my momma or hubby and make a pro and con list. My momma and hubby are helpful, but as a backup to what I feel that God is already telling me. I forget that part!

What was that sound?

This is for people who have not been following this story on facebook today. I know there are a few of you out there. We have already been dealing with some wasps in our house, in our upstairs bathroom. We've decided they are living in our siding on the back side of the house. So we knew we needed to call the exterminators sometime in the next week or two. No hurry.

But then today, I went out to rake the leaves in the front yard. Yes, I do yard work, but no, I don't like it. I only did it because 3 of the 5 houses on our culdisac had their yards raked and mowed this morning, and our house now looked really bad in comparison. So J said if I raked, he would bag when he got home. So I put Campbell down for nap, put on my Ipod with a Matt Chandler sermon, and set to work.

I was making really good progress, and realizing this was a much better work out than walking, when I began to hear a buzzing sound. It got louder and louder. First I thought it was just background noise on Matt's sermon, then maybe an airplane flying over. But it sure reminded me of the sound of buzzing bees. I looked up for the airplane, only to realize that, indeed, it was a swarm of bees! A REALLY BIG swarm of bees! I ran pretty quickly into the garage and watched them. They were up pretty high and weren't coming after me necessarily, although I had made them mad obviously by my raking. I knew I hadn't raked anything that looked like a hive. They calmed down pretty quickly and I went back to work.

When J got home, I told him my story. He thought I was exaggerating I'm sure. But to humor me we walked around the big trees in our yard looking up. We saw two birds nests, and then, a HUGE bee hive. I must have hit the tree pretty hard when I was swinging that rake around and startled them? So the call to the exterminator will have to come sooner. Of course, our home owners warranty covers ants, roaches, spiders, but not bees and wasps. Cade wants us to call Billy the Exterminator, his hero, and I bet we would have made it on tv if he was closer. I mean, wasps in our backyard and a bee hive in the front. He would eat that up. So we are getting estimates, and I'll keep you posted. Here is a picture of the hive, but it doesn't do it justice.

Pujols Book Review

“Pujols: More than a Game” by Scott Lamb and Tim Ellsworth

As a mother of three sons, I am engrossed in spring baseball season! So I was interested to read Pujols: More than a Game to get to know this man that my boys have referenced many times. I was impressed to know what a Godly man, father, teammate and public figure Albert Pujols strives to be. This is the story of his life, rise to fame, and baseball statistics that have made him a household name.

I really enjoyed the writing style of Lamb and Ellsworth, poetically descriptive at times and at others, simply the stats and play by plays. I loved the chapters about his life, meeting and serving the Lord with his wife, and how he ministers to people in the Dominican Republic and St. Louis. There were lots of chapters though with simply descriptions of games, stats and his rise up the baseball ladder. I personally did not enjoy those chapters, but I know my kids and other baseball lovers will really get into them.

After reading this book, I can now really cheer for Pujols, knowing the man that he is striving to be. I am also praying that as my boys read this book, they will learn lessons about their walk with the Lord that will carry them throughout their lives.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Pictures of our Shuttle launch trip

These are only a few of the MANY pictures I took. I'll spare you a really long slideshow. But if you want to see more, just ask!

We took a bus tour the day before and spent some more time at the Kennedy Space Center walking around reading the history of space travel. Brilliant people!

We were honored to be invited last minute (its all in who you know) to the night viewing of the shuttle, which I think, was even better than the launch itself. Magical. And we got to see Steve, across a rope, and give Diane a hug.

They tell you numerous times to not take pictures of the launch or you will miss something, but you know me with my camera, but they were right. It happens so fast you do miss out on really taking it all in while taking a picture. But I did it anyway.

And just an added bonus, me and Jason with Chris Tomlin. Again, its all in who you know!

My heart is full...

My heart, my mind and my soul are so full that I'm not sure I can get it all out in writing. I'm not sure words can describe all that God has taught me the past four days... all that He has reminded me of because I so soon forget... all that He has convicted me of because I just the other day told someone I don't get convicted of sin often... all that He has shown me about His great love for me. Its mind boggling. I will save logistics and pictures for another post, but this is just my small attempt to share what God has been piercing my heart with this week.

We were able, finally, to see the launch of Space Shuttle Discovery, STS 133 on Thursday in Florida. Our friend, Steve Lindsey, is the commander. To know someone personally that is being strapped into a bomb is very surreal. I had a stomach ache all week. I couldn't figure out why, but it miraculously went away 20 minutes after the launch. To hug his wife right before she goes to tell him goodbye is very emotional. They are true American heroes in my opinion.

The day before we were able to tour Kennedy Space Center. We did most of it last Nov. when we tried the launch the first time, but this time we did a couple of new things. We saw a 3D IMAX movie about the Hubble telescope. If you ever get the opportunity to see it, please do. I wanted to fall on my knees in worship in the middle of the theater. It shows pictures from the Hubble and describes how big our universe is, way beyond the planets that I learned in school. My mind cannot comprehend how big it is, how God has made all of this, and then placed our earth in the middle of our little galaxy. And then made me. I suppose to some people that might turn them off of God, because how can such a big God care for little me. But it gave me such comfort and strength and encouragement. He did make all of this unbelievable creation and then because He wanted to have a relationship with His creation and wanted us to praise and worship Him out of love, not obligation, He made us in His image. I am a very little dot in the midst of His glorious creation, but He loves me with an unbelievable, lavish love, and wants to be intimate with me. And, how often do I not take advantage of the power of the creator of the universe who wants to work through me?! Why do I try to do things by myself instead of asking God, who created the stars who are millions of light years away, to help me take care of my kids? Did you know our galaxy only has one star, the sun? All the other stars we see are farther out. There are baby stars being birthed, there are mature stars, and then there are stars that are dying. They are all different colors depending on their age. Craziness.

I'm reading One Month to Live, by Kerry Shook. Coincidentally, I read this while on the plane on the way to FL. "In 1995 scientists pointed the Hubble Space Telescope into an empty patch of black space about the size of a grain of sand just above the handle of the Big Dipper. They wanted to test the clarity and range of the Hubble and were shocked when the pictures came back. That little patch of empty space wasn't empty at all. The pictures revealed over a thousand previously unknown galaxies. Scientists now estimate there are more then 125 billion galaxies in the visible universe. Each one of those galaxies contains millions of stars. It's mind-boggling! My little finite mind can't even begin to grasp such magnitude. If this is the size of only what we know of creation, then how much greater must the Creator be? How much power and imagination must He possess in order to craft such beauty, force, and complexity." pg 121.

I came back from the launch in the mood to worship, and last night was able to go to the Chris Tomlin/Louie Giglio concert. It was unbelievable! It gave me the outlet I needed to thank my God for all that He has done in my life. He has saved me from so much. He is my healer, my salvation, my faithful Father. And then Louie spoke about the same stuff that I had been thinking about. He showed a picture of the sun putting out beautiful spurts of gas. He said it was the sun singing praise to its creator in the way it could. He played the sounds that NASA has collected of stars, stars make sounds! And he said it was the stars singing their songs of praise to their Creator. Psalm 148:3 says, "Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars." Read the rest of the Psalm when you get a chance. We are commanded to praise our Creator along with the rest of creation.

And then this morning, Steve preached about Abraham talking to God about saving Soddom. God invited us into a two-way relationship where we can talk to him about our cares. He is sovereign and can do what he wants, but he loves us and wants to hear our hearts. The ultimate Creator wants to hear my heart! He wants me to spend time with Him. He wants me to ask for help and He is ready, willing and able to grace me with His power, strength and wisdom if I will only ask.

Needless to say, it has been a life-changing weekend for me, if I will let it. I pray that a week from now, I'm not back where I have been. I pray that I will spend time with my intimate Creator, thanking Him for all He has done in my life and seeking His help, the power that no one can fathom, and His love I cannot comprehend.

My Quiet Time today...

I started Philippians today. This is what jumped out at me in chapter 1.
9-11 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God."

I always thought the love it was referring to was my love for God. But when I read it in the Message today, I got something totally different out of it.

"... not only love much, but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life... making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God."

So I need to learn how to love people! It doesn't come naturally. I have to learn how to love people as individuals, meting them where they are. One size doesn't fit all. People don't need to be loved the same way. I have to use my brain to figure out how best to love each person. And when I love people sincerely, on their terms so they feel and see the love, it makes Jesus attractive to them! I want to be filled with the fruit of righteousness! I want to have a pure heart so that God can work freely in me to help and love people! When I am not seeking righteousness, then I am not loving and serving people with the right attitude, motives or with God's power and strength. No wonder its hard sometimes! My sin and selfishness keep me from being able to love people in God's perfect way. I want to live a lover's life! Help me Lord!

Randomness...

I am getting so into blogging. I'm working on a new blog for my church's VBS, and I'm learning so many new fun things by just wandering around the web asking questions. So I'm ignoring my messy kitchen and not worrying about how I'm going to get it clean for 40 people who are coming over Friday night. I've got all day Friday. This is way more fun!
So what random things can I talk about tonight? I am on day 3 of eating better and walking in the afternoons. The hardest part of my plan is not eating after 8 PM. It is so hard to break that habit! I broke down a few minutes ago and ate half a pop-tart. But I've been doing well other than that. It hasn't helped that Girl Scout cookies arrived at my house today. I put them out in the freezer in the garage, so maybe out of sight out of mind?
I have cut wayyy down on my tv watching. Really, if its not a show that I would DVR, then I don't watch it. I don't keep the tv on for noise anymore. Basically I watch every show that has to do with auctions, like "Auction Kings", "Pawn Stars", "Cash & Cari", "Storage Wars" and "American Pickers". Love all of them. And Jason will watch them with me. And we watch "Survivor" and "American Idol". I am really liking AI. I think the new judges are really fun to watch. We are still a few weeks behind, but we are enjoying it so far. I also watch "Biggest Loser" but my kids have lost interest, so I may drop that one soon. My most favorite show though is "NCIS". I get so excited when USA has a marathon, which is at least once a week. I can do other things while that's on, like folding laundry and blogging, like tonight.
Baseball season is upon us! We made a trip to Academy yesterday. Two batting helmets, two pair of gray baseball pants, and one new pair of cleats later, I think we are supplied. Cooper started practice this week and Cade starts on Saturday. Jason is Cade's coach this year instead of Coop's so we'll see how that goes. I am really excited about baseball, once we get basketball over with. The next 2-3 weeks are really hard when they overlap. We have one or two practices each night. It makes us sit down for dinner together at 4:15. Its hard to get used to, but kind of nice to get that over with. However, it won't help me not want to eat after 8! Maybe that's why I needed half a poptart tonight.

Quick one...

I got my pillow back!! They called yesterday and took my credit card number to ship back to me, and it arrived today. I'm scared to go check my bank account to see how much it cost me. But it was worth it!

Quick verse I read today. "Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power." Ephesians 6:10. I was having an overwhelming moment about how much there was to do, and God gave me that verse. He has really been talking to me a lot lately about his power. I'll have to blog more about that sometime, but for today, it gave me peace to know that in HIS power, I can do all things, like laundry, dishes, clean up for a party this weekend, go grocery shopping, etc. Certainly not my own power, because I had none today. Of course, its all in perspective. Right now I'm wasting time on here, but not really caring about how messy the house is. Different time of day I guess. It will all still be here tomorrow!

My fun weekend!

I had a great weekend, full of fellowship and rest and time away from my sweet kids. I found out this weekend that I am a "Critical Cathy", so I will do my best to leave out the negative, critical parts, and only tell you the good parts!

Thursday afternoon I drove over to the middle of nowhere with my friend Robin for a ladies retreat. Robin is actually Jason's assistant, and she is the best! I told my mom in front of the boys that Robin is Jason's second wife. That didn't go over well with Cooper. Kind of freaked him out! But she really does bring sanity into our home. I am so thankful for her, so it was great to spend some time together on our trip up. We only got lost once!

Throughout the weekend, I laughed until I cried, read God's love letter to me, and prayed out by a lake. It was really cold most of the weekend, but the last morning I was determined to spend some time outside, so I found myself a nice bench next the lake and curled up with my Bible and read and prayed. I noticed that I wasn't cold at all, really cozy and warm. I supposed that it was warming up outside. But when I was done and got up to go the conference center, I realized that indeed, it was still really cold! I think God was keeping me warm so I could enjoy his creation. Sweet moment. I had a vicious game of spoons with some sweet ladies, except for the one who left me bleeding when she went for a spoon. (Love ya anyway MM). I drank way too much hot chocolate. And reconnected with an old friend and made a new one at the same time. (Need some sandpaper ladies?)

I left early on Saturday from the retreat and went to Bryan to meet my husband who was officiating a wedding for our friends Kylie and Melissa. Weddings just put me in a romantic, reminiscing mood. We had a good time celebrating their new life together. Then we went to see a movie, an actual adult movie. I made a moral decision a number of years ago to never see Rated R movies, I have just never enjoyed one and it always left bad things in my head that I wished I could take out. But because of some good reviews from some very Godly people whose opinions I take very seriously, we went and saw The King's Speech. I highly recommend it! It was excellent! I wish the one scene that makes it R wasn't in there so my kids could see it because it teaches so many lessons about friendship, determination and courage.

This morning, we slept late. Yes, today was Sunday, and we slept late, and ate breakfast and went shopping at an outlet mall. I love that I am married to a pastor, I love worshipping and serving in a church, but sometimes, you just need a break, and we took it! And then we came home. I feel so good and rested and ready to start the week. I am ignoring the dirty dishes and clothes. They will be there tomorrow. I made lunches and I am going to bed to start fresh tomorrow.

A BIG thank you to my mom for keeping the boys for us. I love grandparents! The biggest downer of the weekend was that I left my pillow at the hotel in Bryan. They assure me they are looking for it, but I am not hopeful. I'll keep you posted on that. I can always go to IKEA to get a new pillow, but I can't replace the pillowcase that matches my sheets. That's what I get for wanting to sleep on my own pillow!

Birthdays of the past...

I was reminiscing this weekend about some of my favorite and least favorite birthdays in my life, and thought I would share. Many of you may remember them too. I remember some McDonald's birthdays and a few at a park. There wasn't much to choose from back then. I remember having one at my grandmother's house. All my friends dressed up nice, and we had a fancy lunch and played Shanghai. Middle school was all about slumber parties. I remember one where the girls got to playing "Truth or Dare" and somehow someone ended up outside in their underwear. I was so mad I went to bed. It wasn't me, I was just embarrassed to have my friends acting like that. My neighbors across the street did call my parents the next day.

My least favorite birthday was freshman year in high school. Another friend's birthday was the same time, its actually today, and she had her party the same time as mine. We weren't really friends then, just acquaintances really. So, out of 15 or so people I invited, 2 showed up. Nobody was brave enough to RSVP. Really humiliating as a 15 year old teenage girl. She and I became better friends later, and I would like to think that wouldn't have happened again. We would probably love to share a party now that we are 36. :)

My favorite party was my Senior year. My best friend Jeanette threw me a surprise party at the Teddy Bear restaurant. For those of you not from Shreveport in the early 90's, we had the best restaurant, literally covered in Teddy Bears. Don't remember the food, but it was one of our favorite hang outs. Jeanette's daddy had a heart attack the Sunday before, and so she had to pass on the party to some other friends, so it started to seem a little fishy to me. I kind of had the idea there would be more girls there, but when I arrived, there was a huge table of my friends, guys and girls. I felt sooo good! Would you believe, not one picture that I know of. No one thought to bring a camera I guess. I also remember Adam and Gabe gave me a rose. Looking back, I know how cheap that was for them, but it meant so much to me! And my boyfriend at the time had made me mad that he wouldn't skip swim practice for my birthday, but there he was at the party. I felt really bad for being mad at him.

The next year's birthday at college was really good too! A bunch of my new friends took me to eat in Longview at Papasitos. My dear sweet mates gave me like 10 pounds of M&M's, one of my favorite things. And while at the restaurant, instead of singing to me in the privacy of the party room we were in, some guy picked me up, dragged me out to the main restaurant, and made me stand at the top of the balcony, while the whole restaurant below sang to me. That's one of those things that on the outside, is SOOO embarrassing, but secretly, its kind of fun.

I love when I worked at New Life Ministries, because when you came in on your birthday, someone had decorated your desk with balloons and streamers and cards!

My 30th wasn't great. It started out great, with my sweet friend Kim making me a sign that all the parents at church who were dropping kids off for PNO saw. I got the night off of work at PNO, and we went out to eat with 3 couples. I was having a really good time when my mom called and said one of the boys was throwing up and I had to come home. So, it didn't end great. I was telling my friend Tracy about that night a year or so later, and the next time we had dinner at their house, she made me a birthday cake to make up for that awful night. I don't even think it was my birthday. And last year, Christina made me a cactus cake. I love cake!

Those are the ones that stick out to me. Looking back, it obviously wasn't about the presents, because I don't remember any, except chocolate and cake. Its about the friends who took time to make me feel special. Thank you to all the friends in my life who did something to make one of my birthdays so memerable!

Quick addition to my birthday...

I wanted you to see my beautiful tulips that have opened up. I love them.

I also forgot a funny part of the day. While I was "sleeping late" I was listening to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and coincidentally, it was Minnie's birthday, and her friends were throwing her a surprise party. I tried to live vicariously through her. Daisy made her a cake that after 15 minutes in the oven came out fully iced. I imagined they were doing the hot dog dance in my honor. And then Choo Choo Soul with Genevieve sang a birthday song, so again, it was in my honor. Then I went back to sleep with a smile on my face!

My Birthday...

Needless to say, it was a strange one. We've known since Tuesday that we would probably have a snow day, so I was preparing myself for having everyone home on a day I would really prefer to have all to myself. At least we would have snow to play in, a really cool birthday gift I thought. At 1:00 on Thursday afternoon we got the call about no school, but as the evening wore on, every weather forecast changed to a lesser chance of snow, and we woke up to a minuscule layer of ice. Very disappointing! That's what happens in Houston I suppose.

Hubby let me "sleep" until 9:30, the best gift ever. I put it in quotes because the sweet baby didn't understand that plan, and kept barging in asking for things. He didn't know that Daddy could get snack and juice. That's mommy's job. I finally got up and made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and went back to bed! I finally got dressed before lunch and made more breakfast foods for lunch. Chocolate chip pancakes and a breakfast casserole with some yummy venison sausage a sweet family gave Jason this week. Really good! Then the little two went down for a 3 hour nap! And J took Coop out for some errands. So I sat on my tush and caught up on my DVR tv. Another fabulous gift.

My next door neighbors brought me a balloon and some tulips! I think that was the sweetest thing ever! Then J and Coop brought me some more tulips of a different color, so I have the most beautiful arrangement of tulips. I made red beans and rice for dinner, and we played some Wii bowling. You would think they would let the birthday girl win, but I don't think that is even a remote thought for my hubby. And I made myself the ugliest birthday cake you have ever seen, but it is triple chocolate with chocolate icing, so I don't really care what it looks like. And that is about it. Kind of quiet and boring, but I know I should treasure days like that. And as disappointing as the no snow was, I know I should be thankful that we haven't been house bound for 4 days like my Dallas friends.

The best part about birthdays these years is Facebook! I love having so many people in different parts of my life wish me Happy Birthday! J almost ruined it though. He pointed out that you can have your fb automatically wish everyone a happy one on their birthdays, so probably most of the people didn't even really write it. He's quite a downer isn't he? But I am choosing to believe that everyone really knew and acknowledged me. I am going to try to thank everyone personally because I like it when people thank me, but it may take a while.

All in all, it was a good day. I have my health, 3 beautiful children and husband, a nice, yet dirty, home, tulips and a chocolate cake! What could be better?